Five minute chocolate mug cake

I realise this is going to get me into a lot of trouble here, however I just received the following recipe via email (yes, yes, I know it's cheating, but come on, tell me you don't want to know this!):

Ingredients
4 tablespoons self raising flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Method
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well.
Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.


Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts(high). The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!


Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate (if you feel like being proper about the whole thing, but really, you just made a a cake in a mug, it'd be like having a Cup O' Soup in a bowl).

This can serve 2, if you like and are feeling virtuous...


But I doubt it, so go ahead and eat the whole thing on your own and be sure to enjoy it thoroughly.

I'm sure you can play around with the ingredients (for instance, why is the oil in there?), if you do so, please let me know how you go.

Otherwise, you can thank me later when you've licked your fingers and wiped the chocolate from around your mouth.

Christmas shopping, kind of....

Well, we went shopping last night, Aesophia and I, decided to get any gifts not yet bought and take care of the last minute things, she'll be in NZ over Christmas while I have the entire family descending on my house. We need to be organised! HA!

Late night shopping finishes at 9 and yet we didn't finish dinner until 7:45, Sakura in Knox is fabulous by the way!! On the way into Knox we stopped off at the Kitchen Trader where we whiled (wasted) away another 30 minutes, stopped at San Churros for chocolate and managed to eat that as we walked. Finally got to Target, I like Target these days, they have better quality stock than they used to and have really set themselves apart as a chain store. They are still a chain store, just a little better than the other chain stores if you know what I mean. Aesophia needed pj's for NZ that are suitable to wear in front of her future father in law, I'm not sure the nightie we chose fits that bill but damn it looked good on her, I didn't find the pj's I wanted but I guess flannelet is a winter thing.

On to socks, well, Aesophia said she needed socks but has buy mens sizes, she does have big feet but she is also really tall so it works, if her feet were smaller she'd fall over a lot. I found girly socks in her size!!!!!!! We got so excited and whiled (wasted) away another 20 minutes looking at socks, getting all excited over patterns, stripes, colours and lengths. Socks are cool. But shoes are cooler, and we go to them eventually!!

You want to know the most important thing? We found fluffy thongs with diamantes on them!!!!! They're like slippers but better and are black, fluffy, have diamantes in flower patterns and feel like fluffy little clouds of happiness to your feet. Bliss!! I bought her a pair, which she protested as they aren't her thing, well, she'll eat her words when she tried them on! She bought mine, that's Christmas done for each other for $20!!

Now we just have Saturday shopping to get through, it's clothes, for ourselves, but they're vintage clothes and nothing over $20 so we shall see........ mmmmmmmm.......

I should mention here we also looked at Macs and Aesophia promised me an iPod power cord, she better come through for me, my iPod is crying!!!!!! I found my new computer, a Mac, it's sexy, she found her new computer, a MacBookPro, it's sexiest. I love her geekiness, she loves, ummmm, my cooking maybe??

Never mind, there's love!!

Oh, and we didn't buy anyone a gift.

What is wrong with Telecommunications.

I remember a day years ago when I wanted to ring Telecom, I was about 8 or 9 at the time, home alone and I went looking through the phone book for their number. Under T in the yellow pages I found Telecommunications, I figured this was close enough and as I couldn't find "Telecom" I figured maybe they went under this name in the phone book.

500 calls later and I finally got through to Telecom, and promptly forgot why I was calling them.

This sums up my day so far.

I am employed by them now you see and while on stress leave and now maternity leave, one of which was caused my boss and the other by my beloved, you pick which because, either way, I was fcuked at one point wasn't I?

Anyway, back to my point, while on stress leave I put in my claim etc. Which was duly rejected and so I am now going down the legal avenue for that one. I can prove lies were told by my employer and so it should be a relatively easy claim to fight but probably not so my brain is exploding now.

While on mat leave they decided to make me redundant, fine, but it's not legal according to the Union. According to them it is legal and they are reinforcing this, in writing. That's pretty brave of them if it isn't legal and while they have now acknowledged I may well have the right to request redeployment, they are now reserving the right to redeploy me to a position which will last for about my first day before they make me redundant again.

I can delay the inevitable but it won't gain me anything, I can take the money now and run or I can try and get them to up their offer by promising to be a legal, public and everything else pain in the arse.

Now, I open it up to the 3 people including contributors who read this blog, what would you do?

The things I do for money

I work part-time as a receptionist for a small service engineering firm.

I am currently typing up the biggest piece of wank ever. My boss has decided that to ensure he gets a particular job, he needs to doll up his ideas into a report. Now, in theory, I agree with this approach. It gives the opportunity for the client to state what they want and my boss goes and answers all the questions in dot points (well, you know, headings and long words, etc.), adding a bit more here & there to bring in some extra money. However, his English is terrible. He blames this on being Italian-born (moving here when he was about 10. He is now 65. The intervening 55 years in an entirely English speaking country have clearly not made their mark.). I blame it on stubbornness, he thinks he is above learning anything because he is a well-off son of an immigrant Italian who has built up a successful business form nothing. This clearly affords him the right to be excruciatingly arrogant and to never directly tell the truth. He will never just say 'yes' or 'no', it has to be a long-winded [and what he thinks is an] articulate response. Hence the report I am typing.

Example:
The guidelines adopted for Plant and Services are mainly within the building envelope and basically will not have any detrimental consequences both aesthetically and acoustically to the building occupants or adjoining neighbours. It is therefore the writers view that Plant and Services within the project will not be detrimental to adjoining neighbours.

What is wrong with it:
The guidelines adopted for removing the definitive article 'the' obviously makes him sound important Plant and Services he thinks that if he's designing it, it deserves to be a proper noun are mainly within the building envelope wank term her thinks makes him sound more intelligent and basically completely wrong word and placement thereof will not have any detrimental consequences lack of punctuation throughout, where are we supposed to breathe in this paragraph?! both aesthetically and acoustically to the building occupants or adjoining neighbours. It is therefore the writers view that Plant and Services within the project will not be detrimental to adjoining neighbours this whole sentence is a repetition of the last one and totally unnecessary.

What I wrote instead:
The guidelines and brief adopted for the plant and services are mainly within the building and will not have any detrimental consequences, whether aesthetically or acoustically, to the building occupants or neighbours.

Conclusion:

I am anally retentive. OK, I knew this already. However English is something I'm actually pretty good at, so wherever I can, I will use the correct terminology and grammar. I believe that to sound/look/be (depending on where you stand I suppose) more intelligent, the less words you use to get your point across the better. My boss has never heard of this, and clearly would not believe it, even if he had (note previous comment on stubbornness). You should also be able to get your point across to anyone reading the article, because engineers are not going to be the only ones viewing the report.

I get a certain satisfaction from correcting his abysmal English and making it more articulate and intelligent sounding. I also know that I'm the only one who benefits from this, so it is a completely self-rewarding process. All of my boss's clients are old engineers like him, where English is most definitely a second language. That's not saying they're of foreign descent, a lot of them are Australian to the bone, it's simply an engineer thing.

I get paid an amazing amount of money for sitting around most of the day answering the occasional phone call and typing the odd report or letter. Everything else that was a complete shambles when I first started here has been sorted out and now looks after itself. They all love me here because I'm amazingly efficient (although compared to the last girl I could come in roaringly drunk 7 hours out of 8 and still manage that). So I think I'll hang around a little bit longer.

To make you feel.

Well, I went looking for sad music today and I found I don't own 2 songs that I love which always make me cry. I could be sad because Velvet named a number of his pet hates last night and I am sick so anything is guaranteed to make me feel worse. It could also be that he never gets vocal, so to choose my faults as the focus of his "vocal moment", well, one has to wonder.

Anyway, check these songs out, they're old, they're probably a bit daggy, but they have me in tears every time!





And one that makes me smile.



Gotta love YouTube for it's amazing collection of memories.

What is going on with the world?!

Well, in the spirit if not having any time at all, I managed today to read the newspaper. The Herald Sun, dated Tuesday 13th November. That's right, I got to read 3 pages before Brandy (the puppy) and the Princess (5 months old and vocal) required lunch, NOW! Well, I'm sick and I don't care what they want. But back to the paper.

Zac Efron is the on the front page, who is he and why is he allowed out of school? He looks about 12, where are his parents for crying out loud? What is High School Musical and why isn't it in a high school? Why is it national news anyway?? Meh, the world has gone to shit since I started ignoring it. Union bosses calling transvestite prostitutes while overseas on "junkets", at least they aren't breaking peoples legs, or is that the mob who do that? An accused rapist, who happens to be a footy player (go figure) gets his name suppressed. Fair enough, innocent until proven guilty my friends, not just that but the article stated the alleged assault happened during a partner swapping incident. Well, in my view, partner swapping only happens for sex (or is that my wishful thinking?) so what's her problem??!!

My faith in human nature is confirmed, most people really are idiots!

Well, this weekend I am meeting one of my egg recipients who is flying down from Canberra. She's lovely and has also found an egg donor who can donate sooner than I can, I got an e-mail from her where she was trying to tell me about it but also tell me she wasn't rejecting me but would I mind etc and so on. God I laughed, I'm donating eggs, if things don't work out with this other woman then she can always come back to me, after all, I had told her to keep advertising just in case this happened. How wonderful for her that she gets her eggs sooner, this means she could could be pregnant at the same time as my first recipients, instead of having to wait a month or so until I can donate to her.

Lunch on Sunday, a civilized affair, wine, home cooked food, good friends and loads of laughter, I really can't wait!!!!!!!!!

Have a good one!!

What I'll be doing on the weekend

This weekend I will be attending an official LAN party. For all of you out there not in the know (most of you I'm sure - good for you!), this means a lot of geeks and gamers head out of doors (an annual occasion, kind of like family Christmas) and go to a massive hall where they plug their computers (you didn't think they'd leave them at home did you?) back in and link up to hundreds of other geeks and gamers and play games, eat junk food, show off your bangin' PC set up and copy all the movies, music, porn, tv series and games you could possibly want. Oh and it runs from 10am on Saturday until 2pm on Sunday and most people there will stay awake that entire time.

Of course, they say in the rules that no illegal activity (ie: copying of illegally downloaded stuff) is to take place, however as this is exactly what the purpose of a LAN is, they're not actually going to enforce it. Kind of like going to a rave where they say 'no illegal drugs are to be comsumed' knowing full well that everyone there will be bouncing off the walls all night.

So I'm sure you're wondering why the heck I'm even going. I'm not your typical gamer/geek. OK, I wear glasses, but they're sexy glasses. OK, I play computer games, but only one really, and only when there's nothing to blog about these days. I'm not overweight and of the un-healthily pale complexion with the bad acne that goes hand in hand with those who never see the sun and stay up stupidly late staring at a computer screen and consuming copious amounts of sugar, fat and energy drinks. So why?

I'm blaming Mr Aesop. Because he asked nicely. Damn him for being so handsome and geeky all at once! I'm in love with a nerd *sigh* and there's nothing to be done about it. Although, he did say that I had to come, just this once, to say I'd been and to see whether or not I like it. And once I've been, I can refuse from hereon in.

My point to all of this? Really, I don't have one. I'm very trepidatious about exactly how it's all going to pan out and I just wanted to share. One of my friends, upon me advising him of my weekend plans, told me he couldn't laugh loud enough. I imagine this is going to be a common response, so feel free to join in the pointing and laughing.

What is wrong with the world of chain stores?

K-mart must die. I'm pretty sure they spell their name as I have and it's wrong. This is not the only thing that's wrong with them but it's a mighty auspicious start wouldn't you say? I purchased a night light/mobile/music thingy for the babys' room the other day and went to assemble it to find the instructions missing, half the screws bent and scratches all over it. For just a shade over $70 plus 200 million dollars in batteries I'm rightly pissed off about this. I'll be returning said shitty item today and will see how I go with my plan. I will be (politely) requesting a full refund on all items, including the batteries which have been opened as well as a hefty discount on other items I may decide to buy at the time.

You see, having lost a load of weight is all well and good but I now have nothing to wear, breastfeeding means I cannot get away with cute dresses, there is not a single skirt and top combination I can see myself wearing and in fact, I figure, I just need some decent tops, the current fashion is basically maternity wear so I'm stuffed. There isn't anything out there for a middle aged woman to show off a hot new bod.

My other problem is I hate K-mart clothing but as I walk everywhere and my small suburb doesn't have a whole heap of competition, the other stores charge a fortune. Op shopping is a safe bet in most places, but I live in white trash city and if I wanted a t-shirt that screamed BITCH or similar, I'd buy it new.

Anyone know of another way???????? HELP!

I've had it, up to HERE!!

Well, my employer is, in the timeless phrasing of someone I know, vaguely, over the internet, or a bunch of people, I can't remember exactly.

Let me start again, my employer is a cunt cunt.

That's right, I said "that" word, not once, but twice, and I used it in a derogatory manner. Sue me.

I am on maternity leave right? Right. Well, while I was pregnant I got the treatment guaranteed to push anyone who is a little protective of their unborn child, out of the workplace, on stress leave, at their suggestion and my Doctors' urging.

That claim was rejected so I'm fighting it.

While on mat leave they made me redundant.

And tried to tell me I have no choice, they told me so in writing.

This is where I love the union.

Now see, I am not a big fan of rough and tumble let's scam all we can under the guise of "it's union and therefore right because we can screw the employer" but I am a fan of my union, they seem to be really good, as they said (in my words), "these are your rights under law, you've been badly treated, we can prove that, let's make sure you aren't totally screwed."

I like that way of thinking. I'm not looking to scam anyone, I'm not looking for than my job or a decent enough sum of money to make me happy to lose my job.

Fair enough right?

Wish me luck. It's tough going.

Hmmm, title eh? This could be fun...

The wonderful Witchie has generously offered me a possie on her blog about "work, kids, food and drink, life in general". I can tick all of those boxes except the kids one, which is fine as I can safely say that Witchie's kids are the most beautiful children I know under the age of 4, and that gets me out of all the trouble I can possibly (and probably will) get into otherwise.

Unfortunately, I am currently waiting for Mr Aesop to come home so we can eat gazpacho soup*, because it's so lovely & warm today (as opposed to the bloody hot of Summer), so I really can't think of much to say right now - my hunger is taking over my brain.

With any luck, something will come to me tomorrow, when I'm bored out of my brain at work...

*Cold tomato soup (preferably home made - it tastes MUCH nicer) with as much or little finely diced cucumber, red onion, olives and boiled egg as you wish. Yum!

Electrical contractors

I've decided that in trad school, one thing taught to all those promising young men and women is how to fuck with people. So far in 12 months or more I have spoken with over 10 sparkies, all have come over, all have looked at the job adn said "oh yeah, we can do that" all have then gone away and we have never heard from them again. They could be dead for all I know, maybe this house kills sparkies. Having said that, in the last week, I have gotten 2 quotes, amazing! So, one is for $7,500 plus truck call outs on top. The other is for $5,500 including truck call outs.

Hmmmmm...... It's electrical work, it needs to be singed off by every man and his dog so it has to be done properly or they have to fix it. Plus the wholesaler is involved because we are upgrading from the street. Hate to be price driven but I'm going to take the cheaper one!

What do you think?

Fences

Bastard fencing contractors!


Ooooh looky, another post for the month!

I mean bastard fencing contractors! They did the side fence, which was not cheap, 74 meters of fence with red gum posts etc and so on, not a cheap exercise when you haven't, well maybe you have but no one knows for sure, a job. So, we had to also get the front fences done as we got a puppy and we have kids and cats and fish and apparently no one knows not to play on the (major) road we live on. So to make this a little cheaper, 12 meters vs. 50 kind of cheaper, we decided on a fence on either side of the house butting up to the house directly. Guy says yep, you do good lunches and the after work beer is pretty good too, here's a good price and we'll do it next week. I say awesome, thanks guys!

Price has almost doubled; the job has been dragged out an extra 2 weeks and most of this is because the fencer got a little scared of the gas line and the fact that no one knew where it lived. Dial before you dig hadn't a clue, the council hadn't a clue, the gas retailer had to charge us so they could pay the wholesaler to pay someone to come out with the plans and the little finder thingy to find it so we told them to get stuffed and called a guy we know with his own little finder thingy. But Joe has a life, and he came out a week later. But eventually the gas line was found. YAY! Fence sorted, so come out and do the work boys.

Ahh they said, yes, here we are but we just realised, what about the concrete house footings Witchy? We can't put the gates where you want them because we may hit the footings which would be bad.

ARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I'm paying a fortune for a couple of fences that won't even be what I want.

Next week I may tell you all about my electrical contractor issues. They're more fun because we are still at quote stage. Tell me, why would there be a difference of over 3k for the same job between contractors who all want the work?

Apparently I'm a slack tart

Well, I would eat a tart should I have the opportunity but life has changed somewhat. I am now the proud mother of an 8 week old puppy, let me tell you, labour was so much easier this time. We went to a house, paid a lady some money and picked up a puppy. She is just lovely, Golden Retriever x Labrador x Kelpie. Here is a photo of little Brandy -

So, 2 teenage cats, a puppy, a 4 month old baby and a 3.5 year child is keeping me pretty damned busy! *sigh* Minnie is helping me post this now, she is the younger cat and just like her sister, their assistance consists of lying all over the keyboard and typing random consonants for me to use later. Handy.

The egg donation thing is going really well at the moment, we had counseling, this was interesting because they ask questions like, do you relly want to do this? Well, no, I'm here because someone made me. How long have you wanted to do this? Umm, you know, decided on the way in here. How do you cope with stress? Why, are you planning on making me sad? Seems like it's a way to milk more money out of people wanting to have babies to me. We have to have 2 counseling sessions each then a group one and they throw unexpected bills at you too. I got one for a cystic fibrosis test, over $200, which my recipient pays of course but no one knew that bill was coming either! Bloody ridiculous! No one in my family has ever had cystic fibrosis so why test for it?

Will post more later, I'm not feeling very amusing right now, which is sad because everything is entertaining if you look at it right.