Liathano is HERE!! (Or Lia to her friends.)
Well, it's been amazing, we were out of hospital within 12 hours, thankfully because, well, the food is crap there! The Chicken Cacciatore was almost grey. Ewwwwww.
Labour finally started at 11:05pm Sunday the 15th June, and we delayed going in, so many false alarms and I was sick of going into the hospital only to be told to go home again, plus I'd only been in there the night before to be told I was 3cm dilated and nowhere near ready. Huh! Like they'd know!!!!
Called Aunty K at about 11:45 and she had left her phone at home while going out to get smokes, she'd been so good about keeping it on her until then too. Called the kids godfather and almost cried and in the end everyone showed up at once! Love an audience during the most painful episode of my life!! Got to the car and instructed Velvet to make it faster, then demanded he not stop because it hurt, when he told me he could make it faster or smooth, I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his refusal to accede to my demands. I was being reasonable so why couldn't he??????
Hospital at 12:30am 16th June, demanding drugs. So the midwife tells me "We have to assess you darl, I'm sorry, no drugs until then" ARE YOU JOKING ME??????????? Midwives are not Dr's, I get that but do NOT tell me you cannot give me drugs when I HURT!!!!!!!!!!! Really.
So then it began, they finally got the gas happening to which I yelled "turn it up!!!!!!!!", apparently it was, so I told them it wasn't working and was crap, then it kicked in and I didn't like that either, then it started to wear off and I loved that part, even told Velvet it was good shit. Yeah.....
Then another contraction hit.
End of the world.
Poor Velvet, a very pissed off me demanding the gas, then hating it and throwing it away and demanding an epidural. Poor poor Velvet, he'd been instructed that I did not want an epidural, at all, I really didn't but his gentle, "are you sure you want to do this honey?" was met with unprintable language finished with the plea, I'm scared of pain, I'm not brave, I can't do this, it HURTS!!!!!!!!! Meanwhile he is still chasing the gas mouthpiece around the hospital room because I kept using it and throwing it away when I was done.
You have to laugh (after the fact) though, they were trying to put in the epidural, you know, the needle in the spine part? Where you have to stay still? Your partner helps hold you up so they don't miss and kill you or something. Velvet turned green. Even I was telling him to sit down and relax for a minute. Lucky he recovered quickly, his daughter was born about a minute and a half later and I was demanding McDonalds immediately! I was very hungry, after all, I had just gotten my stomach space back and it was empty!!
The only scary part was the cord being wrapped around her neck, they thought it would slip off but then they realised it was too short and had to be cut. Here I am, half a baby hanging out and being told not to push. You're shitting me right? Then I looked and thought she wasn't breathing, and freaked out a little. Just a little, I swear it!!
Now though, I have an amazing daughter who is just like her brother was, no complaints, no excessive crying (in fact, pretty much no crying unless I'm at fault for not realising her nappy needs changing or she needs feeding). She sleeps, she poos, she smiles, she stays awake during the day and sleeps at night, and best of all? She has "almost" stopped looking like an alien! Her brother is devoted, her father is besotted, her mother did not require any medical intervention of any kind and so is back to normal, if running marathons were my thing I bet I could!! Now she is almost a week old and I have my breath back, I'm still impressed, and in love. To be this lucky, well, who would have thought it possible?
Feel free to hate me, I would if I were you!
Labour finally started at 11:05pm Sunday the 15th June, and we delayed going in, so many false alarms and I was sick of going into the hospital only to be told to go home again, plus I'd only been in there the night before to be told I was 3cm dilated and nowhere near ready. Huh! Like they'd know!!!!
Called Aunty K at about 11:45 and she had left her phone at home while going out to get smokes, she'd been so good about keeping it on her until then too. Called the kids godfather and almost cried and in the end everyone showed up at once! Love an audience during the most painful episode of my life!! Got to the car and instructed Velvet to make it faster, then demanded he not stop because it hurt, when he told me he could make it faster or smooth, I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his refusal to accede to my demands. I was being reasonable so why couldn't he??????
Hospital at 12:30am 16th June, demanding drugs. So the midwife tells me "We have to assess you darl, I'm sorry, no drugs until then" ARE YOU JOKING ME??????????? Midwives are not Dr's, I get that but do NOT tell me you cannot give me drugs when I HURT!!!!!!!!!!! Really.
So then it began, they finally got the gas happening to which I yelled "turn it up!!!!!!!!", apparently it was, so I told them it wasn't working and was crap, then it kicked in and I didn't like that either, then it started to wear off and I loved that part, even told Velvet it was good shit. Yeah.....
Then another contraction hit.
End of the world.
Poor Velvet, a very pissed off me demanding the gas, then hating it and throwing it away and demanding an epidural. Poor poor Velvet, he'd been instructed that I did not want an epidural, at all, I really didn't but his gentle, "are you sure you want to do this honey?" was met with unprintable language finished with the plea, I'm scared of pain, I'm not brave, I can't do this, it HURTS!!!!!!!!! Meanwhile he is still chasing the gas mouthpiece around the hospital room because I kept using it and throwing it away when I was done.
You have to laugh (after the fact) though, they were trying to put in the epidural, you know, the needle in the spine part? Where you have to stay still? Your partner helps hold you up so they don't miss and kill you or something. Velvet turned green. Even I was telling him to sit down and relax for a minute. Lucky he recovered quickly, his daughter was born about a minute and a half later and I was demanding McDonalds immediately! I was very hungry, after all, I had just gotten my stomach space back and it was empty!!
That's right, no drugs for the birth!!!!
Ugh, I do NOT recommend a natural birth, my labour was just under 2.5 hours from go to whoa and it was hell. To be all religious about it, God made drugs and it is a sin not to use them for their purpose. Finis!The only scary part was the cord being wrapped around her neck, they thought it would slip off but then they realised it was too short and had to be cut. Here I am, half a baby hanging out and being told not to push. You're shitting me right? Then I looked and thought she wasn't breathing, and freaked out a little. Just a little, I swear it!!
Now though, I have an amazing daughter who is just like her brother was, no complaints, no excessive crying (in fact, pretty much no crying unless I'm at fault for not realising her nappy needs changing or she needs feeding). She sleeps, she poos, she smiles, she stays awake during the day and sleeps at night, and best of all? She has "almost" stopped looking like an alien! Her brother is devoted, her father is besotted, her mother did not require any medical intervention of any kind and so is back to normal, if running marathons were my thing I bet I could!! Now she is almost a week old and I have my breath back, I'm still impressed, and in love. To be this lucky, well, who would have thought it possible?
Feel free to hate me, I would if I were you!
4 comments:
Well, my friend, congratulations!
I'm very impressed, and so happy that you appear to have given birth to the perfect baby :) I can't even get my CAT to behave that well!
And that is one cute name. Not as nice as Kate, but, you know, it'll do... :))
Dude, you make it sound *so* easy. I'm so clucky. Like crazy clucky. You're an awful person for doing this to me.
Also, cute as name. If it wasn't cute I wouldn't have even said anything. I heart it.
Now don't you dare post a picture or you'll make my daddy cry at me being pregnant.
I suppose "ouch" would be an understatement.
Yeah INH, slightly.. :-)
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