Children, parties and random drunken shenannigans...

Angel boy turned 5. Big boy 5 years old and he got to keep his birthday present for almost 24 hours.

I should start at the beginning.

2 weeks prior to his birthday we knew it was going to be big when I pulled out his kindergarten class list from last year and stated reading out names with the follow on, "do you want this kid to come?" and started expanding on the follow on with "do you want this kid to come as well?".

To add insult to injury, when asking him to clean up his room with the eventual threat of toy removal the reply was "I don't care, I'll get heaps more for my birthday anyway".

Oh really sunshine?

So, we found ourselves with almost his entire kinder class from last year, friends and their kids and new school friends from this year, all in all about 30 kids and then some parents dropped theirs off and said they'd be back later! These kids are 5 and the parents don't know us!!!!! So, thankfully I'd hired Batman to keep them amused for an hour and a half or I think I would have lost my mind, Angel boy was a mad man with all these friends and presents and did I mention presents? Then there was cake and Batman (or Batman and cake) and then there were presents and he'd had a sleepover the night before and it was so excitingtooexcitingforwordsandohmygodhaveyouseenthepresents???????

Let's point out here that I think the presents were the highlight of his life.

The following day, hungover and struggling to remember my own name I had the joyful experience of the "clean up", it wasn't so bad except for the damn presents, Angels boys room had been trashed and of course, it's his job to clean it up as I am no slave but he didn't want to, he was tired and simply couldn't be bothered and wasn't it still his birthday anyway?

Dialogue -

Me "Angel boy, can you please clean up your room"

Him "*grunt*"

Me "Angel boy, that would be now please"

Him "*whine* I don't want to"

This went on for a bit and then..

Me "OK, clean up your room or I take a garbage bag in there and clean it up for you"

Him (thinking, new threat, don't believe her, cry anyway) "NooooOOOOOoooo"

This went on for a bit too and then..

Me "right, Velvet, garbage bags please"

All hell broke loose.

So I took away all the toys he'd left in the lounge room too, they were his new ones.

HA! One for the good guys. He may get them back by the time he's 6.

As for drunken shenanigans, me + bourbon + absolutely no time to eat during the day + hayfever drugs = very sick the next day. I walked down the street and used my cleavage to get a free stubby holder, I mean, a free stubby holder? WHAT THE? It's a Woodstock branded one and that makes it twice as useless!

Aren't you glad you weren't there A? :-)