Frivolous Ardent or Ridiculous Tirades

Two Long Weekends. One Post.

2010-04-06T14:48:00.002+10:00

Weekend of Moving

Saturday

My parents arrive early and help pack the last of our junk - I mean possessions, attempt to calm me down, buy us coffee, have a quick squiz at the new place and dash off (well, when I say dash, they did hang around for about 4 hours).
The Friendly Moving Men arrive. And they really were very friendly, and helpful. And rather 'strapping' young lads (*drool*).
One flight of stairs down, two flights up.
4 1/2 hours later our old place is practically empty and our new place is populated by boxes.
We decide a Transformers movie marathon coupled with beer and pizza on the couch are in order.
We receive our very first noise complaint. At 9:30pm. On a Saturday night. Apparently, even though we are on the top floor, playing our movies that loudly was like 'living on top of a volcano'. Go figure. We haven't heard from them since.

Sunday

Unpacking.

Monday

Went round to the old place to let the cleaners in only to discover that the housemate who should have been out of there on Sunday was only just starting to remove his belongings as we walked in the door.
Very angry Aesophia shucked her lovely outfit and gorgeous hair (we had intended to let the cleaners in and then head out to breakfast) and helped move the housemate's junk downstairs.
A very sweaty Aesophia finally gets the relaxed breakfast she was originally after.
JB HiFi for some things we needed. We also walked out with things we didn't really need as well (5 new CDs for me!)
Hardware store for those handy wall hook things by 3M - the best thing invented for renters EVER.
More unpacking.

Weekend of Easter

Friday

Slept in.
Did mostly nothing.
Oh, and dishes.

Saturday

Went to the Prahran Market to shop for guests coming over on Sunday and had some gloriously different coffee.
Unpacked shopping and watched Roju play God of War 3 (awesome awesome game - and I got to brush up on my Greek Mythology).
Went bouldering (that's like rock climbing across instead of up and without the ropes) at Burnley with a friend who then came back home and we played Rock Band until the wee hours.

Sunday

Even though daylight savings gave us another hour we only got up with an hour to spare before my sister and her boyfriend showed up for lunch.
By the time they left we had enough time to clear up after them, do a few dishes and then relax on the couch for about half an hour before
Our guests arrived for dinner and more geekiness. Yay!

Monday

Did mostly nothing.
Oh, and went to the supermarket.
Watched some Scrubs.

All in all

After moving house the Easter long weekend was the BEST break ever. Haven't got much to show for it, but loved it nonetheless :)

Boxes and exes, exes and boxes

2010-03-23T10:35:00.004+11:00

We are Moving House this Saturday. We've hired the movers, we've booked the cleaning. We've sold the washing machine (the new place already has a spanking new one), we've got a new fridge (the current one belongs to the housemate).With any luck it'll all be done and dusted by early Monday afternoon and Moving House will just be a painful memory we don't wish to repeat any time in the near future. Of course, this whole ordeal means that the contents of the house are currently getting boxed up and you can barely move for the things. And they're not at all lightweight either *sigh*

Regardless, as aforementioned, with any luck, this time next week it will all be a distant and only slightly painful memory.

On to more gossipy topics: Last Saturday evening I was supposed to go to the Massive Attack gig at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl. Sadly our tickets fell through and I no longer had a good enough excuse not to go to a birthday party. I was still going to make my excuses when I received a desperate phone call from the Lovely Lari, gracing us with her presence, down from Shepparton* for the weekend, heading to said birthday party and in need of support**. So come 7 o'clock, she swings past and after a quick pause at the convenience store for some caffeine we made the trek out to Preston (I will admit it's not the hour long drive to Witchy's place, but certainly a long way from the cushy inner eastern suburbs I call home). As they were not expecting us, we were a welcome sight, it was lovely being a 'nice surprise' for a change.

However, we both - the Lovely Lari and myself - walked in and were confronted by our exes. One for each of us. I had seen my ex's car parked out the front, and on reflection should have expected it and prepared for it earlier as my ex and our Friend are pals, but had to look askance to the Lovely Lari, "am I looking ex-boyfriend good tonight?", thank goodness I was.

It was rather awkward. To say the least really. The Lovely Lari's ex was not quite so much of a big deal as mine, in terms of length of history and stature (being quite possibly literally half the size of my ex), however she had not seen him since the split some years earlier... My ex, M, has not been seen by me since our Friend's Thanksgiving party, and before then, another 12 months on the inside. In fact, last I'd seen him was when I was trying to be nice and polite, we'd caught up for a drink and he was attempting to impress upon me the many and wonderful ways in which he had changed for the better. Turns out this time was a variation on a theme.

Just to give you a bit of background (on my ex, because really, this blog is about me, not the Lovely Lari, as Lovely as she is), M and I were together for approximately 2 years. Once upon a time I was madly in love with him (even though he didn't really like Witchy, which should have been a big clue), he was The One for me. For about the first 9 months of our relationship anyway - I stuck it out for the rest of the 2 years in the hopes that with encouragement and basic evolution backing me up, he might change for the better. After that I woke up to the fact that he was not changing like he kept saying he was. He was, in fact, All Talk. Seriously. He had (and still has) opinions on everything. He thinks that because he has seen or witnessed a thing, or once spoke to a guy who did something he is subsequently and expert on the thing and therefore entitled to judge said thing with obstinate vengeance.

So after I got over the awkwardness of seeing him again, I decided that it has certainly been a while and perhaps I should just treat him like any other person again. This attempt seemed to be going well for a little while. We Caught Up and chatted about what we'd been up to, how his family was (his sister got married, cheated [before and during the marriage], got divorced***). And then when we'd finished doing that, being at a party I attempted to join another conversation, only to realise that M was attempting to monopolise my time and be the centre of my attentions, so I had to quite obviously turn away from him to get him to stop talking to me.

And then, after the party had moved from outside (cold) to inside (less cold) and we were all in on the conversation I noticed that he kept trying to comment on everything I said. Just so he could be Involved. He even backed down on something he'd said once I pulled him up on it (one of his ever famous Sweeping Statements), which has never in history ever happened.

All of this coupled with him leaving while I was indisposed in the loo made things very awkward. I'm trying to be Friends with him, and he's trying to impress me. Over 2 years after I broke up with him.

And then it hit me. I realised that he simply has not moved on, grown up, changed or matured since we were together. And not only that, he realises what he's missing and wants back in on the action. And it made me a little bit sad.

The Lovely Lari once postulated to me that it (generally speaking of course) will take a person half as long as the length of a relationship to get over a person. So that if a relationship lasted 2 years, then 12 months later it is reasonable to expect that the previously involved parties have moved on, gotten over things, learned their lessons, whatever.

By all appearances, M has not done this. I know it's not my fault, nor my problem, but I didn't feel that lovely glow of schadenfreude I used to associate with my post-relationship cameos in his life, looking fabulously slim**** and carefree. There was a bit of pity, and a bit of nothing... It was just very strange.

Anyway. Back to the real world. Oh, and boxes... *sigh*

*Or, as she likes to put it, the cunt-ry*****
**It's this Friend we have, he's... difficult... But that's a whole 'nother blog post.
***Mwahahahahahhahahahahahah! *ahem* I never liked her fiancé, he's always been an untrustworthy little worm and pushed her away constantly - totally unsurprised she cheated. Anyway... back to the story.
****I'm at least 10 kilos lighter now that I was when we were together. Go me.
*****It's her own damn fault, she can leave when she wants to, we're certainly not making her stay. Nyer :P

When WitchOne is too stupid to breathe unassisted (or Aesophia's weekend with Witchy)

2010-03-19T14:56:00.000+11:00

I have to admit, that is my line, A would never say I was too stupid to breathe unassisted, and in my defence I was coming down with a spectacular flu but here is my take on our weekend of shenanigans!

The weekend was originally supposed to be us along with my kids, going to the Mordialloc Festival and from there possibly home or to a going away party for a friend of mine, depending on time, kids and so on.

Angel boy decided that morning he was too sick to go swimming and so I decided he was too sick to come out for the day, handy as his father who was going for a boys day out was actually going to spend the day at home after some last minute changes. Pixie girl refused to have a sleep prior to going out in the early afternoon and so she was dumped at home too, there will be no bad behaviour in public and if they can't behave at home, they certainly can't behave out can they?

A finally turns up, she's signed her lease (yay, she's not going to be homeless!) and had lunch (I'm sorry WHAT? We are going to a festival, without kids, even with kids, there is food at festivals and it's always interesting! Why oh why would you eat first????) and we are raring to go. Well, I want to be raring but I manage a half arsed W00T instead. I'm so glad it's been mentioned that I offered my GPS because it makes what follows not my fault, man!

We're going through Boronia to get onto Eastlink, I call Eastlink and have A's car added to my account and we chat as we drive. I try to keep an eye out for a turn off that we should take but then all of a sudden we're in Frankston, so, let's say Boronia to Mordialloc via Frankston. Hmmm. As you do. Frankston is exactly where it should be by the way, the beach is still there and the roads are still paved with bogans.

The festival. Ahhh. We share a scone with jam and cream in order not to fill up too fast, we find a calamari cup, dear god! The Rebello Strawberry stand was lovely as they let us start from one end and drink our way to the other, we then bought one of everything, except the strawberry cream stuff. Ewwww. We held up the wood fired oven baked nachos stand and partook of the free pizza while we waited for our nachos, we tried more wine and while Ms Thug Chardonnay is a great name for wine, it doesn't make cats piss taste like Bolly, dahhhling. We loved the Outback Spirit stand with all the chutneys and jams and so on, spent far too much there too. The lemon pressed olive oil was a highlight. Absolutely delish and the old selling it just wouldn't shut up, he was lovely but I seriously don't care how many people buy cases of the stuff to give as Christmas gifts, I still only want ONE bottle. Thanks.

Onto the Fairfield Historic Boathouse, we're laughing we're giggling, we're having a wonderful time and we're at the Studley Park Boathouse. It's Melbourne, it's the Yarra river, why have 2 historic boathouses right next to each other with only 1 listed in the Melways? Hardly our fault! Sharing strawberry champagne, staying until the very last second knowing we are going to be late for dinner at Balsamic but having fun being irresponsible anyway, and I do love a hurry up call, makes me feel like my presence is required for the party to start.

Dinner sigh

A was right, they're the Centrelink Mums, but not in the way she means, they actually work there! It was all kids, ALL KIDS!!! The kids weren't even there! I'm not one to shy away from talking about my cherubs, I love them to pieces but sometimes I like to be out and about, so A and I went out for cigarettes and I flirted with some random men just for laughs and we ate and went home. Sad really. Meal was very average, company was ok, service was non existent and I felt ill.

Home to watch movies, A had more drinks than she admits to during the day and evening which I need to point out and next time we get up to mischief, we don't go out dinner with friends of mine that have kids. Plus I think we'll stay at her place so there is much less driving required.

The following day, we walked miles which when I was fitter, wasn't so far at all really. The cafe is one I've been to many times and I was horrified at how they have fallen down in food quality and service, then poor A went home. Sadly the weekend ended on a lowlight. Except for the fact the A was here and we did have a wonderful time laughing at all the things going wrong!

Let's do it again!! :-)

What WE did on the weekend

2010-03-18T14:12:00.002+11:00

There has been some confusion as to who was writing this up. I assumed Witchy would, she assumed I would... It's nearly next weekend now so I figured someone had better do it before what happens this weekend eclipses last weekend and we all forget what happened to begin with.

Again, in point form, because I'm not feeling terribly verbose...

Oh, and I'm sure Witchy will interject with corrections (look, I can't remember everything!), I'm not apologising if I get anything wrong.

Saturday

The plan: I sign my lease, head to Witchone's place of abode, we go to the Mordialloc Festival, Jewels' going away do and then head to a girls' night out and get roaringly sloshed, head back to Witchy's, stagger in to bed, wake up hungover and eat something greasy commiserating each others' predicament before I head home and do boring Sunday things like washing.

What actually happened:

I signed my very first lease ever! Oh my goodness I'm liable for EVERYTHING!
Drove to Witchy's place (got a call from Witchy: "are you still coming?!?!" - I was about 5 minutes down the road, sheesh).
Dropped bag o' stuff off and greeted the adorable children (they're adorable because I don't have to wake up to them at 6am) and Velvet
Jumped back in the car.
Ooh, backtrack, on the way to the car Witchy offers the use of her GPS unit. I say, well, you know where you're going right?Famous last words I hear you scoff? Correct.
She says sure, so off we tootle.
Down the marvellously expensive yet barely used and much maligned Eastlink. I'd never been on the Eastlink until then, so it was pretty exciting.
We started chatting...
And before we knew it we were in Frankston.
I got out the Melways - a tad late some might say - and figured out where we were, how far away from where we should have been and how to get there.
Once we found Mordialloc (20 minutes up the road), we managed to find what was probably the only un-timed free park in town.
Onward to the festival! It was as every smallish festival should be, crowded, hot, noisy and lots and lots of good food and alcohol to spend our well-earned-but-never-quite-enough money on.
Sweet & savoury preserves, lemon infused olive oil, tortilla, beer, calamari, wine, wood-fired-oven-baked nachos, strawberry bubbly, strawberry liqueur and strawberry port.
Time to head off to Jewels' thing.
Back up the Eastlink.
Second time lucky (Studley Park boathouse? Nope, Fairfield Historical boathouse) we found it and proceeded to share around the strawberry bubbly and socialise.
Tore ourselves away to head to the girls' night out, you guessed it, back down the Eastlink (yes, I have now seen enough of it).
Balsamic in the Mecca of the outer eastern suburbs of Melbourne, Eastland, which really should have told me all I needed to know - don't let the fancy pictures fool you.
We met up with three of the loveliest Centrelink Mums ever. You know the kind, can't talk about anything other than their children and husbands/partners/exes - even on what is supposed to be a debaucherous evening out where you forget all that stuff and let it all hang out (where appropriate, this isn't a hens' night).
The most exciting part of the evening was joining Witchy outside to watch her smoke a cigarett.
After three cigarettes, some very average food and worse service it was decided that I would start feeling sick, so we could actually have an enjoyable debaucherous evening on our own (Roju has filming rights), turns out Witchy started feeling sick all on her lonesome, which was both handy and unfortunate.
We got home (me asking along the way, seriously, why are you friends with people like these?!)
Halfway through 10 Things I Hate About You, Witchy piked. I waited 'til it was finished.

Sunday

Breakfast at a lovely little cafe in The Basin (not the one in your bathroom). Sadly the food, coffee and service did not match the setting.
Dropped in at my parents' place on the way home for food, little cousins and conversation.
Got home, showered, left again.
Visited the cousin and had what was my second drink for the entire weekend.
Went to the Lucky Coq and had my third drink with some friends, for for a birthday celebration.
Home.
Bed.

Overall

What started off as a fantastically fabulous weekend, sadly lost its fizz around dinner time on Saturday... We'll have to try it again sometime - this time with better food, more alcohol and without the Centrelink Mums.

Stuff and nonsense.

2010-03-12T10:34:00.000+11:00

Wow, what a week so far. We ignore November and December because they were my first 2 months in this job but Jan = 15k, Feb = 30k and March is on track for 60k.

I'm in sales. Figures are all. I just wish I could count better.

Anyhoo, work is taking over my life, at a time when I want to be all into the Lara Bingle/Michael Clarke fiasco (who doesn't love a good bust up with nudey pictures and rude hand gestures?), I want to help Velvet start up a new business and get out of his crap job, I want to sort out Aus Post with their shit customer service in regard to lost mail and I want to read some good books. Here I am, at work. *sigh*

Oh, I'd love to spend some quality time with my kids too, just for laughs and stuff. Maybe stop Angel boy from going too feral. Starting school was not the greatest idea, they teach bad stuff and I'm not seeing a great deal of reading or counting improvement.

So, this weekend, A and I are going out! We are taking the kids as Velvet is also going out and apparently a boys day out with go-karting, pubs and the casino isn't kid friendly. I honestly don't see how but I'll let it slide this time and he can pay it back later. hehe

A doesn't know it yet but if she is staying at my place then it's fabulous as we have the Mordialloc Festival during the day followed by an evening saying goodbye to and celebrating the birthday of a good friend of mine, Jewels. She's going to live in Nepal for a year and so we must go say goodbye!!

It helps that both Jewels and A are vego, no, I don't know why, I just think all vego's like all religious people, should know each other by first name and be friends. Am I unreasonable? Possibly. Do I care? No.

See you next week!

What I did on my Labour Day long weekend

2010-03-10T12:11:00.003+11:00

Saturday:

ENJO demo
Coffee at my cousin's place with his recently-out-of-hospital partner
Braved the weather - navigating a marvellous detour to cross the railway line as all the underpasses were flooded - to get to a friends' going away do
Continued said do at the GB (I won the best-of-three-rock-paper-scissors-who-gets-to-drink match) with a couple of beers
Grill'd for a late dinner

Sunday:

Fresh bagels with delicious home grown tomatoes for breakfast
Drove through more weather to Hepburn Springs (just past Daylesford)
Lunch at Reuben's
Bought a hat
Coffee at Breakfast and Beer
Assassin's Creed when we got home (turns out Roju loves it when I steal the controller and get all geeky on him)

Monday:

Trained into the city with the lovely Roju
Coffee with said Roju
Mag Nation and loads of magazines waiting for friends
Undies Monday
Lunch at Camy Shanghai Dumpling House on Tattersalls Lane
1000 £ Bend for a coffee and the Letterhead exhibition (one artist per letter of the alphabet - pretty awesome)
Attempted a couple more galleries but they were closed (what do they think this is, a public holiday?!)
Found a cool Japanese t-shirt shop
Max Brenner - Mexican Spicy Hot Chocolate (dark chocolate with a blend of red chilli, nutmeg, pepper & cinnamon)

All in all:

A lovely weekend, caught up with friends, got to be all lovely-dovey with Roju all to myself for a change and got out and about. All in the space of three days - it was almost like being on holiday!

A small boast and other short stories.

2010-03-03T13:02:00.004+11:00

In this, the first 3 days of the month I have sold almost 15k of product, now, taking into account that fact I earn 1% commission, that's sweet fuck all but, taking into account 15k is all I sold last month I anticipate this months crappy commission cheque to be less crappy than last months.

Just sayin'.

Now, remember that crush I talked about a while ago? Good. He's back. Hmm. I don't care now. So there.

What else is going on? I'm unwell, I thought it was hayfever, it hung around like a bad (lack of) smell, and then I got worse and thought maybe it's a headcold, but now it's even worse and I think it might be the flu. See sales figures and payment terms above, I can't take time off and so I shall keep plugging on. Cheers for me.

I need a new car. I am driving a small Hyundai which I don't own as I don't own a car but that's ok because I have a fiancee with 2 cars and since he can't drive both I steal one every day. He may or may not realise this and I doubt he'd care in any case but the fact is he has never said that I may drive his cars. Nevertheless, I need a new car. I'd prefer new, I like the Getz and there's a car out with a shoe rack in it, I'd like that one, if it came in blue. The car not necessarily the shoe rack however, having the shoe rack match the car may not be bad at all. Unless the car interior is another colour adn then having the shoe rack in the car but matching the outside of the car could very well get confusing after a few drinks when I'm looking for different shoes to wear and realise they are still in the car. In the shoe rack.

I really like the idea of a shoe rack in the car. How many pairs do you think it can hold? Would I start leaving for work shoeless because I've left my shoes in the car? Or would it be possible to install a shower and coffee maker in the car as well so I could just get up in the morning, get the kids going and then stagger out to the car to get ready for work? Time saving, especially if I also had a chauffeur so I could shower while tootling along the freeway.

No, that way lies madness, madness I tell you!!

Has anyone noticed small children are demanding? 4am I wander out, check the house, search for the missing fiancee (youngest childs bed) and have a cigarette before wandering back to bed. Youngest child (Pixie girl) comes running out of my bed (hadn't realised she was in there) and yells at me. ME! She's 18 months old, I'm 33 and she can just quit the role reversal now I say, as I hurriedly put my cigarette out and meekly carry her back to my bed to continue the (apparently) interrupted cuddle we were having in my sleep.

Now. Back to work you.

Dieting, eating, dieting and eating..

2010-03-02T10:42:00.002+11:00

Well, we got a comment regarding the diet from Janet with a diet of her own. So, I feel it prudent to post them both here so I can find them again next time I decide I need them.

The Souper Soup Diet (thanks Janet)

http://www.lillieross.com/soup23/

And the nice one that I like...

http://grazia.ninemsn.com.au/beautyandhealth/goodhealth/820839/the-thin-by-friday-diet-the-four-day-plans

Which I have just realised is the "Thin by Friday" diet, something A called it a while ago and I didn't register the name. Lucky I knew what she was talking about.

I can't endorse either diet as the Souper Soup one has never worked for me, something about cheating and so on I guess. Moving on..

The Thin by Friday diet did lose me a couple of kilos but again, I think I cheated a few times. KFC on day 2 may not have been the best idea.

Frankly, I still stand by Dr Joshi's Holistic Detox (Google it, I got too many results to choose one). I found this diet changed my palate (until I changed it back, by force) and made me feel healthier, happier and so on, without cutting out alcohol. I did like that bit.

But really, if we cut out the eating of crap, we probably wouldn't need to diet and therefore the weightloss industry would fold and we wouldn't have anymore guilt trips! YAY!

Children, parties and random drunken shenannigans...

2010-03-01T15:21:00.002+11:00

Angel boy turned 5. Big boy 5 years old and he got to keep his birthday present for almost 24 hours.

I should start at the beginning.

2 weeks prior to his birthday we knew it was going to be big when I pulled out his kindergarten class list from last year and stated reading out names with the follow on, "do you want this kid to come?" and started expanding on the follow on with "do you want this kid to come as well?".

To add insult to injury, when asking him to clean up his room with the eventual threat of toy removal the reply was "I don't care, I'll get heaps more for my birthday anyway".

Oh really sunshine?

So, we found ourselves with almost his entire kinder class from last year, friends and their kids and new school friends from this year, all in all about 30 kids and then some parents dropped theirs off and said they'd be back later! These kids are 5 and the parents don't know us!!!!! So, thankfully I'd hired Batman to keep them amused for an hour and a half or I think I would have lost my mind, Angel boy was a mad man with all these friends and presents and did I mention presents? Then there was cake and Batman (or Batman and cake) and then there were presents and he'd had a sleepover the night before and it was so excitingtooexcitingforwordsandohmygodhaveyouseenthepresents???????

Let's point out here that I think the presents were the highlight of his life.

The following day, hungover and struggling to remember my own name I had the joyful experience of the "clean up", it wasn't so bad except for the damn presents, Angels boys room had been trashed and of course, it's his job to clean it up as I am no slave but he didn't want to, he was tired and simply couldn't be bothered and wasn't it still his birthday anyway?

Dialogue -

Me "Angel boy, can you please clean up your room"

Him "*grunt*"

Me "Angel boy, that would be now please"

Him "*whine* I don't want to"

This went on for a bit and then..

Me "OK, clean up your room or I take a garbage bag in there and clean it up for you"

Him (thinking, new threat, don't believe her, cry anyway) "NooooOOOOOoooo"

This went on for a bit too and then..

Me "right, Velvet, garbage bags please"

All hell broke loose.

So I took away all the toys he'd left in the lounge room too, they were his new ones.

HA! One for the good guys. He may get them back by the time he's 6.

As for drunken shenanigans, me + bourbon + absolutely no time to eat during the day + hayfever drugs = very sick the next day. I walked down the street and used my cleavage to get a free stubby holder, I mean, a free stubby holder? WHAT THE? It's a Woodstock branded one and that makes it twice as useless!

Aren't you glad you weren't there A? :-)

Teeth, overrated in any language.

2010-02-10T16:17:00.005+11:00

Wow. I went to the dentist today. A lifetime of ignoring my teeth and generally mistreating them (chewing ice, toffee, not brushing them regularly etc and so on) has come back to make me pay. You always think that some people are just born with weak teeth or they really didn't look after them in their youth, but whatever the problem is, it is not going to apply to you. No way no how.

It's lies. Look after your chompers people, you may be sad about the dentist bills later in life. Today was a cool $1,000. Do you have any idea how many pairs of shoes I could buy for that?? ANY IDEA AT ALL?? Hmmm.

Next visit, in 3 months will be $1,100, this will finish off the root canal started today, this is the 2nd root canal for this tooth and as it is my back molar, I would like to keep it. I lost its neighbour when I was pregnant the first time so I'm running short of teeth in that side of my mouth.

The receptionist appears to like me, I filled in the paperwork they give you.

Name - check.

Address - check

Who is responsible for your bills - me, my health fund, a random sugardaddy if you happen to know one who's willing.

Any serious illnesses in the past - terminal pregnancy

Were do you work - *insert company name here* for all your xxxx needs

Poor love, she was in stitches trying to input the information.

Then after telling them how much I dislike the dentist, how it scares me etc, I fell asleep during the procedure, three times. I'd wake with a start, the dentist would ask if I was ok and I'd nod and promptly doze off again.

I think I may be their favourite patient right now. And I think I like them too. Lovely people even though they do charge me a fortune just to walk in the door.

Too many aprons

2010-02-10T13:29:00.007+11:00

At least as far as Witchy is concerned, there is no such thing.

Witchy and I finally caught up for the first time in ages again on the weekend.

I brought her Tupperware, a lovely skirt of mine that she's had her eye on for ages and another apron. After purchasing the apron I thought it might be prudent - if a little late - to check with hubby (or however we refer to him in this blog, I forget) if another apron might be taking it too far. We both agreed that it might never be possible.

After much gushing over said items (Witchy) and children (me - they're so cute and I can give them back whenever I want!) We then proceeded to Catch Up.

Love, life, the universe, everything. It never ceases to amazing me that it doesn't matter how long we've been apart, we get together again and it's like the conversation never stopped. It's marvellous. There are very few people in the world I am lucky enough to have that sort of relationship with and I am eternally thankful for every one of them.

Following on from my last post - with all the stressing and having way too much on my plate, on top of it all I went for a job interview yesterday. My housemate's workplace have a few $1,000 a week cash in hand positions going. From what my housemate told me the job could be performed quite easily on a part time basis - three days a week. So I thought I'd be able to keep my cushy job and this new one and pay off my rather extensive debts in a few short months. However at the interview the impression was definitely that it was a full time job on offer and that part time wasn't going to be on the table for quite a while, if ever. *sigh* That said, the job was going to be sales and not-exactly-cold-more-like-lukewarm-calling - something that is completely NOT up my alley. So I guess it's all's well that ends well. And I'll just have to pay my debts off slowly like all the other normal people.

So now I'm still trying to end ties with Tupperware and ENJO. But I also want a pantry full of Tupperware and a cleaning cupboard full of ENJO - so I need to do the 'staff discount' thing until I'm done... However being grossly in debt and all that means I can't just get it all at once. *sigh*

Speaking of grossly, I've put on weight. And I don't like it. So I'm doing something I've never ever done in my life before: I'm dieting. So far so rocky. I leapt off the bandwagon with avengence last night, however am back on today... This diet thingy is a four-day-wonder, which I mix things up every four days (excellent for those like myself who suffer from a short attention-span). And I cringe every time I read those words - anything that tells me I'll lose 5 kilos in 3 days* I know is bunk. But this time I just can't help myself. I've stopped exercising, I'm not eating as well as I'd like to be, so maybe, just maybe, if I kick-start myself into action, then I just might get into the swing of things and all of a sudden cruising at my ideal weight won't be difficult at all.

Here's hoping.

Does it ever all really work out anyway?

Can I be a more content person with less money, less to do and more time for myself?

Experiment Happiness**: beginning now. I bit late, but better late than never right?

Right?

* It actually says 2 kilos in 1 week, but still. I know that optimum weight loss is 1 kilo a week, I haven't completely lost it.***

** or Contentment - that'd be a good place to start...

*** Yet.

Keeping up with the Joneses

2010-02-01T14:17:00.008+11:00

Or however you feel like spelling that...

Not to be outdone, I'm updating my side of the universe to keep up with Witchy :)

FYI missy, you ARE indeed "not. that. bad." That's why we all hang around.

Anyway, back to me.

Things that have happened (in roughly chronological order) since - well - forever in point form so as not to blather on for too long:

~ I finished my Diploma (HD's all round, thank you thank you).

~ 2 year anniversary with the love o' my life (how do I know? Well, I suppose I don't, but right now, it feels pretty bloody amazing... Don't shatter my dreams k?).

~ I got sweet talked into being a Tupperware Lady (old, saggy and a tendency to wear floral patterns and/or twin sets: optional extras).

~ Got a housemate - interesting times.

~ Got my very first credit card.

~ I got sweet talked into being an ENJO (look it up, I can't be bothered explaining right now if you don't already know) demonstrator.

~ Christmas with the whole fandamily.

~ A lovely quiet New Years.

~ Hung out with the father-in-law for a few weeks while he graced us with his presence.

~ Got stressed. I mean really REALLY stressed here.

~ Got quietly pissed off at my friends for being entirely unsupportive. Seriously, how hard is it to reply to a freaking email - doesn't take up much time and a little caring goes a long way... *seethe*

~ Got more stressed (see above).

~ Decided I'm not doing nearly enough for myself and have had a serious re-think about life, the universe and everything... And decided to ditch both Tupperware and ENJO... Sometime in the near future. Tupperware after I've kitted out my kitchen, and ENJO after I've kitted out my house... Friends and family henceforth get a 20% discount off (which makes it wholesale price) all products.

~ After the f*cking landlord raised the f*cking rent for the THIRD time in 18 months* had a hissy fit and am now looking into high interest savings accounts and home loans and house/unit/duplex/terrace/apartment/hovel/shed options and desirable suburbs. Verdict: it's bloody expensive. Sadly, it's the only way I can get the windows fixed when I want and don't have to feel like a second class citizen any more. I rang the agent and had a word in her ear about it, she told me I was taking it too personally. Really, I'm taking MY HOME too personally?!

~ Cleaned out just about all of the crap from my room! Oh my goodness, the space we have, it's brilliant! So now my lovely little flat almost looks exactly like I want it to! Yay!

~ Fell off the wagon (ie: stopped Weight Watchers and exercising), put on nearly 5 kilos and am now attempting to leap back onto the wagon with a vengeance.

~ Got so stressed and tired I popped a blood vessel in my eyeball (that was shocking I can tell you - looking in the mirror about to do my eye make-up only to find a bloody big red spot next to your iris. Of course, the amount of House MD I've been watching recently can't be helping).

~ Having decided that I no longer want to do Tupperware and ENJO and actually want to do what I want to do (photography, Montessori education [meaning I want to teach it, not just learn about it], a few day trips here & there with my lovely young man, some chill time on my own and some socialising with my friends - but not so much that I get sick of them [or they get sick of me, which I suppose is an option, but really, I'm wonderful, so why would they?]), I just want it all happening NOW. Unfortunately, life isn't like the movies and you can't cut out all the boring bits like when they go to the toilet, clean their rooms, take out their rubbish or have to do their taxes** so I have to just work through it *sigh*.

~ Blew up the starter motor in my car ($500 no sweat).

~ Continue to procrastinate at work (case in point: this post).

Sooo... I think that brings us about up to speed. And oh look, I still managed to blather on a bit - go me :D

As you were.

* By $80pcm 18 months ago, then $135pcm 12 months ago, and now another $90pcm this time. We've sent off the 'we're not happy Jan' letter however I doubt it'll do much good. Apparently it's still within 'current market value'. Of course, taking into account that Melbourne*** is the 8th most expensive place to rent IN THE WORLD, that doesn't actually mean anything good.

** Unless it's a plot point vital to the - uh - plot.

*** In case you're interested, Sydney is the 2nd most expensive.

Toilet Training

2010-02-01T12:30:00.002+11:00

Wow.. Toilet training a baby again. This sucks. With Angel boy it was all easy, at 18 months old I dropped him off at child care with 5 changes of clothing, no nappies and the simple instruction; "make it happen". Within about a week we could take him out without nappy on and not worry about the upholstery on the car or the pram too much. Easy. *sigh*

This time, different child care centre, same routine but it seems to be so much harder! Why on earth can't they keep an eye on my Pixie girl and ask her if she needs to wee. After all, don't they watch her when she's there anyway?

Kids. Ahhhhhh. Love'em!

On the road again...

2010-01-29T16:32:00.002+11:00

It's time to restart, I have been avoiding this blog in the vain hope that all of last year hadn't happened, or if it did, then it wasn't as bad or as badly handled (by me) as I'd feared.

After reading last years posts I found out one thing about myself, I'm not so bad, even when I'm falling apart and life is killing me slowly (with his song, killing me slowly, now I'm thinking "About a Boy" with Hugh Grant and I hate that movie.). I may not be all grace under fire and sunshiney la di da but I am still, not. that. bad.

So, that's my personal boost done, let's get down to business. Angel boy had his first day at school yesterday. Wow. My baby boy, my little man, my tiny angel. Taking that first step away from my apron strings. Next thing you know he's going to be getting girlfriends, into fights with boys (no doubt at least one), getting his licence, passing or failing exams (passing or there may be repercussions) and from there, a life of his own. Just wow. I got all that from one little old day at school. Clever aren't I? He loves school and looks adorable in his uniform, in case you're wondering.

Pixie girl is toilet training and has moved into the toddlers room at child care. She's amazing me every day with her manners, yes at 18 months old she has manners, she says "pardon" and many many many more words, sentences and simple concepts. She also impresses me with her inventiveness at staying "up", this kid can climb a person like a monkey climbs a tree and if you try to put her down without her permission, she somehow manages to lift her legs to impossible heights, like almost around your neck, in order to cling even tighter and stay where she wants to be. It's funny, when you have the time to laugh about it.

I'm working full time again. There was a slight issue with that for a minute, they wanted to extend my probation. I said no. It took them a while but they did see it my way eventually. Thank GOD! More on that another day as I will be updating more often now I'm not scared to come back and see negative comments. After all, there are so few comments, and none bad (thankfully) that this is almost like talking to myself. But without the weirdness should I get caught doing it in public.

For better or worse

2009-08-20T10:38:00.004+10:00

What a week it's been. I cancelled the egg donation because the agreement was that she covers expenses incurred in the process and, well, she didn't. For the sake of $1,300 odd she threw away over 15k (by my estimate) and her last chance for a child. Did she honestly think that her breaking our agreement would ensure I still donated? What about our agreement for after she had a baby, would she have broken that one as easily? Why would I allow myself to be out of pocket and still give her my DNA? Seems ridiculous.

So, I went to Tassie anyway, I could after all and so flew down Saturday, shopped, got a massage, relaxed at the hotel, took myself out to dinner on my own, dressed as a 1920's flapper (read my book) and then took myself off to the partayyyyy. By 2 am I was in tears, I'd walked the length of Hobart in 6-8 inch stilettos and I was being falsely accused of having "stolen" a feather boa.

I had been up and going since 5am but still, Jesus H Christ.

2 hours sleep and flew home.

Found out that I lost my job over the egg donation saga and so now, I'm just trying to catch up on the housework.

Still think I need a beer Ramon? Or should I go for something stronger?

On the way up..

2009-08-10T16:41:00.002+10:00

Well well, the egg donation saga is continuing however, there is now an end in sight and frankly can't wait!! What started as a cheap way to get good karma, help someone else and generally do all the things to get good karma that you need to do has turned into 7 months of hormonal hell. It's ok, by Saturday it's all over. Sadly Saturday is a close friends birthday, in Tasmania. I have booked my tickets and hotel but whether I get to use them is up to my ovaries whch is interesting, I know some men are ruled by their testicles and some women choose to live by their ovaries and ticking biological clocks, but I never thought I'd be trapped into that kind of living. Huh. Just goes to show.

By this time next month I should be able to look over this blog with shame in my heart and guilt on my mind, it doesn't matter that I have never done the wrong thing in deed, I did think about it for a second. I have been selfish, rude, overreacting to everything and generally horrible, I have also been drinking too much, smoking too much, eating too much, thinking of myself too much and generally being a shithead in all ways. But I am lucky. I have friends and family who love me beyond anything I deserve and just hope that before this time in my life ends I don't have another down moment that ends it all.

If the good karma depends on me having handled all this shit with grace and flair, I'm screwed.

Rock bottom

2009-07-24T12:42:00.002+10:00

I've hit it.

I decided not to act on the crush so give me some credit for that at least. Now I am in saving my sanity mode which requirement was brought to my attention last night and this morning, last night I just kept thinking "I quit". I cooked dinner but yesterday I had both the kids at home (Angel boy, 4.5 yrs old and Pixie girl 13 months), Angel boy has tonsillitis and so spent 2 days on the couch, in my bed and wherever he felt like laying down and watching TV, he got cuddles and rides in the pram since he wasn't feeling well enough to walk, I got up every 5 minutes throughout the night to get him drinks, I stuffed him with multivitamins, penicillin and pain killers, took his temperature every 15 minutes and silently howled when it was above normal by half a degree (that's a lot of howling!).

So, yesterday, he shit my bed, give the poor kid credit, he thought it was a fart and with everything going on in his little system right now, well, I guess I'm not surprised, and he tried to clean it up by himself until I caught him, got him cleaned up and then I fixed the bed. He's sweet my little man. His sister had a royal shit, that went everywhere. So, I spent my day elbow deep in the stuff. Yay me.

Velvet gets home and since I'm not talking to him this week he looked at me warily and asked softly how my day was. So I told him, I cleaned up shit all day and then I cooked (in my best fuck off voice). He quietly tip toed through the war zone that was our lounge room and I poured my first bourbon. *sigh* from that moment, he folded washing (I asked him to since was sitting in front of it watching TV and I was going out to get some more toilet paper), he bathed the kids and he fed Pixie girl and he cleaned up the kitchen.

I know you're thinking I should be grateful but sorry, just as fucking well was my thought! If I wanted to be a single mum, I wouldn't need him would I? And one reason why I am not talking to him is his comment a few weeks ago about babysitting the kids while I was at the gym. THEY'RE HIS KIDS TOO! You don't baby-sit your own kids.

Yes, he was at work all day, I was running around after 2 kids, so, if anyone says he deserves a rest when he gets home I'll have to kill them, I, too, deserve a rest but unlike him leaving work, I already am home.

I still don't have a job and bloody hell, I need one. I'm going mental.

The thing that happened this morning was; I left my hand holding a bowl full of soggy weetbix near enough to Pixie girls foot that she could kick it, all over the carpet. I lost it. I had been asking Angel boy to get dressed and eat his breakfast for 45 minutes, I had just wrestled with Pixie girl and her epic shit (all the way up her back this time, you'd think her nappy is changed every 24 hours the way she fills it!) and I was fast losing my normal sweet and even temper. Well, the weetbix went everywhere and so did my sanity, I think I saw it split. I swore, in front of my babies, I swore long, loud and with enough feeling that I could have made a wharfie blush.

I knew then that I better make a concerted effort in finding a new job. The rejections have been tough this week but I have to keep picking myself back up and moving on again.

My poor family, having to deal with me while I'm not working, I can't imagine it's easy on them either.

We have yet another fun filled weekend planned, dinner with friends tonight, swimming tomorrow and I'm not sure what else. Frankly, I don't care, I just wish Velvet would open his mouth and start a conversation with me that doesn't include "how was your day" "Mine was normal" or any other trite, I'm having a conversation with someone I don't know every well to be polite kind of starter. I'm tired of starting all the conversations that talk about "stuff", you know, stuff, how things are, how he feels, how I feel, our opinions on things. The conversations we had back in the day when he wanted to impress me. Mind you, if he shaved every day and showered on weekends again I'd be damn impressed!

My word!

2009-07-06T15:25:00.004+10:00

Well, I'm a mother so what do you expect when I see this blog hasn't been updated since last April and NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE! Besides my beloved co blogger has already utilised "Oh bother" this year and that writes it off for me I guess.

I'm in a state at the moment, I'm going to mediation with my ex employer (a large Telecommunications company that made me redundant while I was on maternity leave (legal I'll have you know, yes I was shocked too) but they also lied about me and I don't like that.). Anyway, mediation is on Wednesday, Jobwatch won't help because I'm not a guaranteed winner and this large Telecommunications company is going to trot out a whole heap of spurious complaints about my work while conveniently forgetting the accounts I saved, the customers I impressed and the account managers I kept in work because I either took the blame for their mistakes or I covered them up so the customer never found out (not to mention that crap I hid for management).

Let's add to that my current unemployment, 2 children (ye gads! Full time mother material I am NOT!), bills to pay etc and so on. I could also mention here a friends messy divorce and my subsequent poisoning as a shitty side effect, IVF egg donation going skewiff and having to be restarted and my sometime dedication to the gym with another girlfriend of mine.

Plus, the list goes on, I currently have a crush on a man not my beloved (don't worry, he doesn't know and neither does anyone else, except you of course and we shall keep it that way ok.).

That's not all but when is it ever?? I do have some good news of course, Michael Jackson is dead. Yes yes he was a genius and I have some sadness but my sadness is for the MJ of the 80's not the one of the last 20 odd years who has been a complete freaky scary dude that I would not let near children. Yet they have given his kids to his mother. WHO DO THEY THINK RAISED MICHAEL JACKSON???? 'tards. Those poor kids, out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I have done some cooking lately but nothing to write home or on here about and my children are still alive. I love them, I really do. Why do they seem to only have one volume though?? LOUD!

I'll write in detail another day, today, I have to walk the dog, cook dinner, pick up the kids, finish the vacuuming, do some washing and finish applying for a job outside my field but here's hoping!!

Oh bother!

2009-04-27T13:56:00.004+10:00

And fluff and stuff, as Winnie the Pooh would say (you know, the original from the book, not the cartoon series).

The outside of my apartment block is getting a re-paint. I made sure I left all the windows unlatched to assist in this, even though it wasn’t requested. They have done an abysmal job. Masking tape to ensure clean lines? Oh no, they don’t need that – and clean lines? What are they? We received a letter the day they finished painting our windows saying that we needed to co-operate and open our windows, etc. if we did not do this, it would be our own fault. My windows have been painted shut. A couple of them have actually been painted open. I left them all open anyway. How is this my fault? Is there anything they can or will do to fix this? Probably not.

The beautiful branches of the trees in front of my apartment that have offered unrivalled privacy as well as their shelter, insulation and shade in Summer have been callously lopped off – solely to allow said painters to get their scaffolding up without putting the effort in to actually maybe, you know, tie the branches out of the way. I’m almost more livid about this than I am about the shonky painting.

They raised my rent $130pcm this month (something I know I’ve already moaned about, but it’s actually happened this month – and we did get someone out to have a look, etc. etc. – they said we should be paying more than our landlord was actually raising our rent to!).

I’m studying photography but hating the school I’m at. I just want my diploma and then to walk away and forget any of their horrible administration blunders (which I encounter on average, ever fortnight) ever happened. This also means I am incredibly uninspired to do anything with my photography at the moment. Which in turn means I am uninspired to do anything at all. I rocked up late to work (because they don’t really care, thankfully, or I’d be out of a job) simply because I couldn’t be bothered. And now I’m here I still can’t be bothered. But I need the money.

I can’t afford to buy a house because I’m not qualified in anything that could earn me a better wage than I’m getting now. I also can’t afford to buy a house because house prices are rising exponentially. And any house that I would actually want to buy is getting snapped up by greedy developers who will knock it down and turn it into 12 apartments they can milk for exorbitant rent – not because they NEED to, because the CAN.

This situation is making me so upset, livid and out of control I feel sick. And there’s not a damn thing I, or anyone else, can do about it.

Damn the Man. He doesn’t care and I’m hard pressed to find anyone else who does too. I mean, we’ve got refugee camps, global financial crises, un-necessary wars, not enough contraception, too many people - and too many of those people dying, not enough healthcare or education and no-one seem to care about any of that either – so my little problems fade into insignificance.

Weighting, waiting, weighting

2009-04-06T11:39:00.004+10:00

Last May I joined Weight Watchers. I wasn't happy with the size I was, even though I wasn't, by any stretch of the imagination, obese. Or even, to a lot of people, fat.

Since joining WW I have lost 12 kilos, which leaves me with a measely 6 kilos left to lose. Hooray!

Except now I have hit a bit of a bump in the road. I haven't been to any WW meetings in a month and I haven't been eating healthy.

So this bump in the road. The few followers of this blog are saying, sure, these things happen, no biggie, we believe in you, etc., etc., give us more lowbrow drama to fill our heads with cottonwool. Sorry, not today people. I have an 'issue' and I need to vent is somewhere. This is why I love the FART cart.

I don't actually remember the last time I was happy with my weight. I have been chubbier than I've wanted to for years. It's always been at the forefront of my mind and it has wrought havock with my self esteem. However, I have recently come to the realisation that FAT is not actually my issue. It's my family's issue. To be even more precise, it's my immediate family and my extended family on my father's side.

Now when I say that, I don't mean my family are all obese - quite the opposite, for the most part. What I mean is my family are obsessed with NOT being fat. They must do everything in their power to stay skinny! And if you get even a little bit chubby - lookout!

Just for a basic introduction to the kind of fat my family is against:

Over a ladies size 14,
Anything except a flat, washboard stomach Ms McPhearson would be proud of,

Uh, actually, that about covers it. However, conversely, you are not allowed to 'lose your femininity' by working out too hard and gaining too much muscle. Nor are you allowed to lose so much weight that you look gaunt and underfed.

So you know, that leaves a pretty narrow window. And completely forgets about essential items like genetics, hormones and age.

On both sides of the family (which means we can't get away from it. Ever.) we have genetically programmed into our body-type code, A Bit Of A Belly. This means that I will never, ever have a flat stomach. This is a fact I am now, after years of agonising and worrying, happy to deal with. My family on the other hand, can't quite come to terms with it.

Actually, I tell a lie. Once upon a time I did have a flat stomach. I had been sick for 10 days and hadn't been able to eat in a week. I lost 7 kilos in that one week and I was way too skinny.

Also, for those of you not in the know any woman, in any given month, will gain and lose weight, sometimes kilos at a time. This is natural and healthy. It's called hormones. Deal with it.

I also have a cousin who is rather obese (you don't want to end up like her do you?) and an aunty who was obese and has now joined the must-be-skinny obsession.

So for my whole life I've had this FAT = BAD thing stamped into my subconscious. And I'm now old enough and wise enough to put is behind me (well, ok, it's a slow process, but I'm getting there).

So my parents are coming back from a rather long hiatus overseas. They're coming back this Friday. This means I will now have my two biggest influences in my life back in... my life. You know what I mean, much closer quarters. And they are ecstatic that I've started getting fit and healthy. And they have been wonderful and supportive throughout. The only problem is, their version of 'supportive' takes me straight back to my teenage years. Allow me to explain.

I started swimming for exercise - it's a great, no-impact, sport where I don't have to compete against anyone but myself - my kind of exercise. So then my parents kept asking me, being all enthusiastic, 'how many laps have you done today?'. 'Have you been for a swim today?' Which made me feel exactly like I did when I was in highschool, 'have you done your homework?', 'have you tidied your room?'.

Now I know they're just excited that I'm getting into life, etc. However as soon as they start asking me these things I all of a sudden feel obliged to do it. For them. It makes the whole thing no longer my own - it's not mine anymore, I'm doing it to make them happy.

So I deliberately 'fell' off the wagon. Out of spite to my parents. That's right, ladies an gentlemen, a relatively sane 27 year old woman behaves like a 16 year old girl in a frump. Headlines headlines.

*sigh*

At least I know why I did it.

And I was talking to a friend about this as well. She suggested that I cut them out of my get fit/weight loss thing altogether. So they would not be allowed to ask me how I'm going or what I've been up to. If I wish to share my progress, successes and losses, then I will. But they would no longer able to enquire.

To me that sounds a little harsher than I'm willing to do all at once, however she put it very nicely, I've been giving ground to my parents my whole life, doing what they want me to do, behaving they way they want me to. I'm allowed to shut a few doors occasionally.

Regardless, I'm starting again today and I'm hoping with my fingers tightly crossed that I have, at the very least, not put on in my month-long holiday from reason - I've still been exercising a bit, just not eating healthy (I love cheese, what can I say?!).

Happy short week everyone :)

Playing catch up

2009-04-01T13:40:00.002+11:00

Well, not only did I not rise to my own challenge, I completely failed to follow through on any of the rest of my NZ antics... Ah well - it was fun. I got to meet and observe another family up close enough to see their own little familial foibles - it's nice when you can see everyone else has strange families - even though it's one of those things everyone knows. There was much NZ geography experienced and enjoyed, and plenty of relaxing. If you want more information, let me know - otherwise, it's April now people, let's move on :)

Another word following on from Witchie and Victoria's natural disasters - there were a few very minor earthquakes in Melbourne not too long ago. Nothing monumental, but I have now felt my second earthquake ever. The first one was that horrendous one in Newcastle in the early 90s (or nearabouts, I was young - I don't remember - we were on the outskirts anyway, I just get to say I was there, makes me sound worldly and impressive*).

Other than the above, things that have been happening: I performed at the Palais last Thursday and the Corner Hotel last Sunday (act impressed now). Both performances were amazing and heaps of fun - if you want to learn more, go here.

My latest exciting news is that my parents are returning from their overseas galavants and adventures - this means I no longer have to be the buffer for my sisters' angst and issues, yay! I can now safely return to dealing with my own angst and issues and tidying my house (yes, I'm still tidying Witchie - you can't come over yet) in relative** peace and quiet.

So... if anything else exciting comes my way, I'll let you know - until then, don't do anything Witchie wouldn't do :)

That is all.

Except for the footnotes.

And this sentence***.

*It does because I say it does.

**Hur hur ;P

***Ok, I know, I'm not as funny as I think I am - as long as I can amuse myself then everything's cool.

Saturday 7th of February

2009-02-10T23:26:00.001+11:00

We saw a fire. It's still going and now we have lost people, entire towns, animals of all sorts.

Devastated does not come close.

Well.....

2009-01-17T21:17:00.002+11:00

We're still waiting for the other chick to blog before I do, no idea why except, maybe, she mas more interesting stuff to say and I figure we should get her shit out of the way before I join in with my drunken shenanigans!

Yeah, blog you tall, umm, (crap, thinking).... ummm.... tall..... person you!!

My mission

2008-12-22T15:44:00.004+11:00

Should I choose to accept it:

I am currently one third of the way through my three week holiday over the Christmas/New Year period in New Zealand.

So far it has been most enjoyable, however my main reason for not posting until now is that I can't seem to think of this country in terms that don't include the recent Lord of the Rings trilogy, that was famously filmed here, effectively putting New Zealand on the map. (Well, for the Americans really, and doesn't the world revolve around them and their lofty opinions anyway?). Which is silly really, considering the country has been around and renowned for many years before Tolkien even picked up a pen!

Ahem, back to my main point. Considering that the Lord of the Rings trilogy* did do such amazing justice to the fantastic geography of this beautiful country, I have been finding it extremely difficult to describe said landscape without referencing the great grandfather of fantasy** or his erstwhile grandson's*** visual interpretations.

Therefore, I am making it my mission, in my forthcoming posts of What I Did On My Holidays not to mention the Lord of the Rings. At all.

Wish me luck.

*I have recently come across a swathe of the population who believe the recent film adaptation of the books was rubbish. I beg to differ. While I salute Mr Tolkien and his bold explorations into the fantastical, making his tomes a foundation for every single fantasy novel since, reading them was like trying to run through waist deep water. Therefore, while some inevitable artistic license was taken for the films, I loved them, every one, and believe that Peter Jackson did extremely well. Considering the possible criticism from day one would have been akin to him announcing that he was making a film interpretation of the Holy Bible.
**John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (the guy who wrote the books, more usually known as J R R Tolkien).
***Peter Jackson (the guy who made the films of the books).

Trains, planes and automobiles ~ well, two out of three ain't bad

2008-12-20T18:33:00.012+11:00

For those of you who aren't in the know:

I'M ON HOLIDAYS!

Which I'm just a tad excited about - in case you couldn't tell.

Mr Aesop & I organised to visit his dad over the Christmas/New Year period about 6 months ago and consequently, as everything was planned and paid for so long ago, it's taken a while for me to realise that I am actually free of obligations for the duration.

I did a little crazy I'm-on-holidays-dance upon landing in Auckland, however that soon wore off once the three hours of absolutely nothing to do while waiting for our transfer set in.

And thence, onto Napier! An airport only slightly larger than a local country town hall, where I finally got to meet the father of my most favourite man. Hung over from the flight (in an international travel sort of way, not an I've-had-too-much-to-drink way), I didn't really know what to say or do, so, after the initial greetings, I opted for silence and smiling.

We were then whisked around the city centre (such as it is) and shown the night spots (three) and then on to meet the grandparents, who seem lovely, but by this stage I was busting for a comfort stop and well on my way to the land of nod, so I'm hoping I said the right things at the right intervals.

And then, home, real food and bed, ahhhhhhh.

For those of you who don't have the time or inclination to read on, the following is a pictorial essay of where I went and what I saw on my first three days in the country:

Taupo (where we stopped fro lunch and therefore spent most of our time there at a cafe, but the lake's pretty hard to miss)

Huka Falls

Craters of the Moon

Rotorua (there weren't any decent photos, so you got a map instead)
Thermal Wonderland (a lovely aroma of old eggs as well as plenty of nature's wonder)

The next day we drove up to Rotorua, via Taupo and a lot of exceedingly attractive scenery. The land of the long white cloud has long been in renown for its lush forests, magestic glaciers, towering mountains, lakes aplenty and much volatile landscape and the route we took was no exception.

About 10 minutes out of Taupo we went to see the Huka Falls. Where the Waikato River narrows from approximately 100m across to crash impressivley through a canyon a mere 15m wide. The volume of water flowing through often approaches 220,000 litres per second (thank you Wikipedia), this therefore contributes to quite a large amount of New Zealand's hydro-electricity supply (the river provides 15% of all of New Zealand's power).

On the road to Rotorua we stopped to take in the Craters of the Moon, a small but highly active geothermal field, complete with steam vents, bubbling pools of mud and some quite unique fauna (not much can survive with that much sulphur around). There are walkways around the whole area, as the ground temperature can vary from lukewarm to steaming without much warning. Of course, Mr Aesop's father (being the science teacher he is) decided these paths didn't get nearly close enough so we all traipsed off them here and there to get a better view. Depending on where you're standing, some of the craters make eerie sounds (that you can't hear when you're on the path *ahem*). At one point we jumped off the path near to get a closer look at the largest crater, however I discovered quite quickly (through the soles of my flimsy rubber thongs) that the ground was quite warm, so I jumped back on the path pretty quick smart.

After that it was on to Rotorua where everyone (quite literally) has a hot spring in their back yard. Now Rotorua has quite the aroma about it, most closely associated with week-old hard boiled eggs. Charming. Of course, once the olfactory shuts down after a few hours of torture, you are free to enjoy the town and surrounds. We enjoyed a delicious Indian meal for dinner and then went back to our motel to enjoy the naturally heated spa (don't put your head under the water or amoebas might attack your brain - wonderful).

The next morning it was off to Wai-O-Tapu which, according to their website, is New Zealand's most colourful geothermal area. After the few hours that we spent there I can't say that I have any evidence to refute that. It was amazing. Such vivid and surreal colours, with water varying from dirty greys to brilliant aquas and greens and temperatures from lukewarm to steaming and boiling furiously. And all the while smelling like rotton eggs - luverly.

New Zealand really does have quite a lot of unique and varied geography. After the beautiful, wide, brown and ultimitely dead* land of Australia, it's quite an adventure to come to a country that is so very alive**.

After the Thermal Wonderland it was off the Auckland, very briefly, and then on to Waiheke Island, but that's another post for another day. Probably tomorrow. If you're lucky.

*In that, everything earth shattering hapened millenia ago.
**Earth shattering things are still happening today.

MORE Christmas!!

2008-12-03T20:20:00.003+11:00

Well, I was going to add to the shopping saga but A did cover most of it so why should I go over it all again?? Got the guys details confirmed and that's all that matters, the car will be fixed!! Yay!!

Now, back to my favourite subject of late, CHRISTMAS!! I bought a velour, vinyl and faux fur top in Christmas green to wear with my green Christmas cowboy hat and my green Santa Little Helper apron. Teamed with a white skirt and white cross over wedges, I'm thinking CHRISTMAS!! (photo will be posted, this only sounds white trash but isn't actually!)

I've decided Velvet will theme it up as well, he has a naughty Santa apron to wear with his flashing Christmas hat. Hehehehehe, Angel boy has a Christmas baseball cap. Yeah!

Let's go CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

Shopping Odyssey Number 112908

2008-12-02T12:11:00.005+11:00

Once upon a time...

In the Lead Up To Christmas* this year I think I have finally found myself in the realms of true adult-hood (if such a term exists). My reasoning behind this is that I have not had a spare evening or weekend to myself for the last three weeks and will not for the next two until I skip the country to avoid it all. I have found myself wanting to do the pre-Christmas Catch Up with friends I've barely seen all year, what with One Thing And Another, we've always been too busy, or Something's Come Up at the last minute and the next coinciding day/evening we have free won't be for another three years. I note this because in previous years I’ve observed other ‘adults’ trying to fit everything and everyone in prior to Christmas and coping with various degrees of success. To give an example of the above, last Saturday fits the bill wonderfully.

I was supposed to meet up with Mother In Law with Mr Aesop at 9:30am to head into the labyrinth that is Chadstone as Mr Aesop has not purchased a single item of clothing since I've known him and is consequently wearing stuff out. And yet, still wearing them *shudder*. MIL & I got together and went through what was needed and what was wanted and then shuffled Mr Aesop grudgingly off to the relevant retailers to try on t-shirt after t-shirt after jumper after shirt until we were satisfied.

Note: we were supposed to meet up at 9:30am. Unfortunately, we slept in and only got there at 10:30am. Now normally, this would not prove to be a problem, had I not also arranged to meet WitchOne and trawl the sales and warehouses from 12pm.

Thankfully, Witchie rang at about 11:30am and said she was just leaving her place (in Woop-Woop) and wouldn't get to mine for another hour, traffic and child depending. *Phew*, now I get to stay with Mr Aesop and MIL a bit longer and offer vital opinions on whether this t-shirt is more flattering than that one, etc.

Now due to a lack of forethought on my part, I had originally arranged for Witchie to swing past my place and pick me up on the way. However having gotten off to a late start, I then had to inform MIL that I would have to leave her at Chadstone with Mr Aesop and go and meet Witchie. I did not think this would be too much of a problem, being a boy, Mr Aesop tends to forget that maybe his mother wants to be a part of his life, etc., etc., so I thought it would give them a good chance to catch up. Of course, MIL assumed I was abandoning them there and they would have nothing to do (at Chadstone?! I ask you...!). So then it was time for The Guilts *sigh*. Now don't get me wrong here, MIL was pretty quick to forgive and forget, I just felt bad about it.

Then Witchie started ringing up wondering where she was and could I tell her where exactly that was, and how to get to my place from there (no, she did not have a street directory). This would have been fine, had I not also been trying not to get annoyed with the plebian crowds of sheep at Chadstone, coupled with MIL being frantic and apologetic all at once with Mr Aesop nowhere to be seen for support.

After phone call number two it was time for me to skip the suburb (Chadstone is that big, for those of you not in the know) and head home to be picked up by WitchOne... Waaait a second... Why don’t I get her to pick me up from here...?! Phone call number three found WitchOne performing illegal u-turns and whizzing back to Chadstone, while I raced back into the throe to try and locate Mr Aesop and MIL to hand over the car keys (see, no more abandoning! Nyer!) before she arrived.

Exhausted but relieved to have escaped the throng I said coochicoo to the child** and we were on our way.

Our first stop was a vintage store where they were advertising Nothing Over $20, with all proceeds going to the Breast Cancer Foundation. So of course, our only reason to go was to support said cause (we can justify anything in the name of a bargain). The vintage shop was tiny. One small room full of local designer clothes and jewelry (this was not included in the Nothing Over $20, a point I was a little bitter about, it was, however, discounted). The other small room full of vintage clothes from (what I assume was) the 50s to the 80s. Very soon I was loaded up with what we were trying on while WitchOne was loaded up with a slightly grizzly child. Due to the size of the shop, there were only 2 change-rooms, so after waiting a while, all three of us squeezed into a cubicle and the Trying-On began. With child grizzly, Witchie promptly pulled up her top, unhitched her bra and child was plugged and happy once again. Being vintage, I always find it’s a bit of hit and a fair bit of miss, but that was OK, there were Golden children’s book pages stuck on the wall to amuse us in between the huffings and puffings of trying to get the zip all the way to the top and the pulling and pushings of removing one item while trying to try another one on at the same time. When I was finished trying everything, I got the child (amazingly placid little thing) and Witchie started trying on.

We ended up walking out of there (after the salesgirl held the child and cooed admiringly at her a bit while we rounded ourselves up) spending a combined total of $130. Witchie snagged gorgeous faux fur coat, a slinky trench and a divine knitted dress, all of which made her look even more fabulous than usual (I should mention here that, post-partum-Witchie is looking amazing! Since I’ve known her, she has never looked this slinky) and I bought three dresses, one for my sister (it was bright yellow, I couldn’t go past it), and two for me.

Then it was onward to the designer outlet, Upto 70% Off. After some initial mishaps and diversions (no baby-change in the McDonalds and a nut/chocolate/lolly shop), we ended up at the designer outlet. It was huge. And being designer wear, a lot of it simply didn’t come in my size (I’m too tall to exist according to them, coupled with actual hips, it doesn’t make for successful designer shopping). Now, being the uninitiate that I am, I know virtually nothing about Designers, you know, who’s hot and who’s not, etc., etc. I just take Witchie’s word for it. With that in mind, I just went for stuff that looked like it would fit, not an actual brand. This meant I walked out of there with one hhhot red dress, Marilyn Monroe style, one cute and colourful skirt and another, more casual red dress/top (dress on Witchie, top on me). All for $150, bargained down from $180 (teamwork!). Considering that was still more than I wanted to spend, I really would have hated to get all of that stuff at full retail price, my bank balance would have died with me!

Initially, I had decided that I wouldn’t get anything much, as we were going shopping for WitchOne anyway (what with the post-pregnant fabulousness, she now has barely any clothes that fit her). However my newly received tax return burning a hole in my pocket coupled with Witchie egging me on (you did, you can’t deny it), I spent a lot more money than planned. Thank goodness we didn’t get to the other two sales on the list!

And then it was time to go. Shopping til you drop is fun, right up until you drop. So WitchOne dropped me off at home, continued on her way and I got upstairs and dropped on the bed (after modeling the red dress for Mr Aesop). A day well spent (spent being the operative word there).

Or so I thought.

After recuperating on the bed for a few minutes I started going through the motions of getting dinner organised and figuring out what was on the agenda for the evening when I received a call from WitchOne which went something like this:

“Haven’t had enough of me eh?”

“I just had a car accident!”

“WHAT?!”

“[giggles nervously] Yeah,”

“Are you OK? Is your child OK? Where are you? I’ll come and get you,”

“Oh, I’m on my way home now,”

“WHAT?!”

“And my child and I are fine,”

“Well that’s a relief, are you sure you don’t want me to come and get you?”

“No, it’s fine, I’m OK now”

“Well if you’re sure. So what happened?”

Apparently 4WDriver (complete with bull-bar) decided that pulling a u-turn without checking his side-mirror and over his shoulder was OK. The passenger door is all smashed up, but thankfully, that was the only harm done. Of course, the first thing WitchOne did was jump out of the front seat and go to see if her child was OK (again, thank goodness she is). She was shaking so much people were stopping their cars in the middle of the street and coming over from the other side of the road to see if she was OK, and did she want a drink, and maybe she should sit down. Anyway, after exchanging details with 4WDriver, she hopped back in her car and continued on her way. Because she’s a nutcase. Yes Witchie, you are.

The next day she rings me up again, understandably livid, informing me that 4WDriver didn’t give her his correct details! We informed her to go to the police post-haste and that was the last I heard of it. However, knowing Witchie, I’m sure she’ll get her guy – she always does.

To continue with my Lead Up To Christmas shenanigans, after calming Witchie down, I had one of my sister’s birthday parties, followed by a baby shower (another sign that I’m an adult). As they say, no rest for the wicked *sigh* I wonder how I can make up for this somehow? Do they go on an installment plan or something?

Anyway, this now brings my latest What I/We Did On The Weekend to a close. I hope you enjoyed it.

...The end

*As they say in all worthwhile and otherwise publications. For clarification, this usually begins in early October and doesn't actually finish until the post-Christmas sales have been well and scrambles though and fought over.

**Child is a 5 month old little girl who is simply delectable!

Christmas and religion.

2008-12-02T11:46:00.001+11:00

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper??

He sold his soul to Santa.

We had a great day, for most of it.

2008-12-01T18:51:00.002+11:00

Saturday. Christ. Aesophia said she was going to blog about it so I'm going to let her (apparently I jump in too regularly) and besides, she got all the best bits!

Where's the bloody post????!!!!!!

Five minute chocolate mug cake

2008-11-28T16:06:00.008+11:00

I realise this is going to get me into a lot of trouble here, however I just received the following recipe via email (yes, yes, I know it's cheating, but come on, tell me you don't want to know this!):

Ingredients
4 tablespoons self raising flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug

Method
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well.
Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts(high). The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!

Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate (if you feel like being proper about the whole thing, but really, you just made a a cake in a mug, it'd be like having a Cup O' Soup in a bowl).

This can serve 2, if you like and are feeling virtuous...

But I doubt it, so go ahead and eat the whole thing on your own and be sure to enjoy it thoroughly.

I'm sure you can play around with the ingredients (for instance, why is the oil in there?), if you do so, please let me know how you go.

Otherwise, you can thank me later when you've licked your fingers and wiped the chocolate from around your mouth.

Christmas shopping, kind of....

2008-11-28T07:05:00.004+11:00

Well, we went shopping last night, Aesophia and I, decided to get any gifts not yet bought and take care of the last minute things, she'll be in NZ over Christmas while I have the entire family descending on my house. We need to be organised! HA!

Late night shopping finishes at 9 and yet we didn't finish dinner until 7:45, Sakura in Knox is fabulous by the way!! On the way into Knox we stopped off at the Kitchen Trader where we whiled (wasted) away another 30 minutes, stopped at San Churros for chocolate and managed to eat that as we walked. Finally got to Target, I like Target these days, they have better quality stock than they used to and have really set themselves apart as a chain store. They are still a chain store, just a little better than the other chain stores if you know what I mean. Aesophia needed pj's for NZ that are suitable to wear in front of her future father in law, I'm not sure the nightie we chose fits that bill but damn it looked good on her, I didn't find the pj's I wanted but I guess flannelet is a winter thing.

On to socks, well, Aesophia said she needed socks but has buy mens sizes, she does have big feet but she is also really tall so it works, if her feet were smaller she'd fall over a lot. I found girly socks in her size!!!!!!! We got so excited and whiled (wasted) away another 20 minutes looking at socks, getting all excited over patterns, stripes, colours and lengths. Socks are cool. But shoes are cooler, and we go to them eventually!!

You want to know the most important thing? We found fluffy thongs with diamantes on them!!!!! They're like slippers but better and are black, fluffy, have diamantes in flower patterns and feel like fluffy little clouds of happiness to your feet. Bliss!! I bought her a pair, which she protested as they aren't her thing, well, she'll eat her words when she tried them on! She bought mine, that's Christmas done for each other for $20!!

Now we just have Saturday shopping to get through, it's clothes, for ourselves, but they're vintage clothes and nothing over $20 so we shall see........ mmmmmmmm.......

I should mention here we also looked at Macs and Aesophia promised me an iPod power cord, she better come through for me, my iPod is crying!!!!!! I found my new computer, a Mac, it's sexy, she found her new computer, a MacBookPro, it's sexiest. I love her geekiness, she loves, ummmm, my cooking maybe??

Never mind, there's love!!

Oh, and we didn't buy anyone a gift.

What is wrong with Telecommunications.

2008-11-24T13:04:00.003+11:00

I remember a day years ago when I wanted to ring Telecom, I was about 8 or 9 at the time, home alone and I went looking through the phone book for their number. Under T in the yellow pages I found Telecommunications, I figured this was close enough and as I couldn't find "Telecom" I figured maybe they went under this name in the phone book.

500 calls later and I finally got through to Telecom, and promptly forgot why I was calling them.

This sums up my day so far.

I am employed by them now you see and while on stress leave and now maternity leave, one of which was caused my boss and the other by my beloved, you pick which because, either way, I was fcuked at one point wasn't I?

Anyway, back to my point, while on stress leave I put in my claim etc. Which was duly rejected and so I am now going down the legal avenue for that one. I can prove lies were told by my employer and so it should be a relatively easy claim to fight but probably not so my brain is exploding now.

While on mat leave they decided to make me redundant, fine, but it's not legal according to the Union. According to them it is legal and they are reinforcing this, in writing. That's pretty brave of them if it isn't legal and while they have now acknowledged I may well have the right to request redeployment, they are now reserving the right to redeploy me to a position which will last for about my first day before they make me redundant again.

I can delay the inevitable but it won't gain me anything, I can take the money now and run or I can try and get them to up their offer by promising to be a legal, public and everything else pain in the arse.

Now, I open it up to the 3 people including contributors who read this blog, what would you do?

The things I do for money

2008-11-24T10:45:00.006+11:00

I work part-time as a receptionist for a small service engineering firm.

I am currently typing up the biggest piece of wank ever. My boss has decided that to ensure he gets a particular job, he needs to doll up his ideas into a report. Now, in theory, I agree with this approach. It gives the opportunity for the client to state what they want and my boss goes and answers all the questions in dot points (well, you know, headings and long words, etc.), adding a bit more here & there to bring in some extra money. However, his English is terrible. He blames this on being Italian-born (moving here when he was about 10. He is now 65. The intervening 55 years in an entirely English speaking country have clearly not made their mark.). I blame it on stubbornness, he thinks he is above learning anything because he is a well-off son of an immigrant Italian who has built up a successful business form nothing. This clearly affords him the right to be excruciatingly arrogant and to never directly tell the truth. He will never just say 'yes' or 'no', it has to be a long-winded [and what he thinks is an] articulate response. Hence the report I am typing.

Example:
The guidelines adopted for Plant and Services are mainly within the building envelope and basically will not have any detrimental consequences both aesthetically and acoustically to the building occupants or adjoining neighbours. It is therefore the writers view that Plant and Services within the project will not be detrimental to adjoining neighbours.

What is wrong with it:
The guidelines adopted for removing the definitive article 'the' obviously makes him sound important Plant and Services he thinks that if he's designing it, it deserves to be a proper noun are mainly within the building envelope wank term her thinks makes him sound more intelligent and basically completely wrong word and placement thereof will not have any detrimental consequences lack of punctuation throughout, where are we supposed to breathe in this paragraph?! both aesthetically and acoustically to the building occupants or adjoining neighbours. It is therefore the writers view that Plant and Services within the project will not be detrimental to adjoining neighbours this whole sentence is a repetition of the last one and totally unnecessary.

What I wrote instead:
The guidelines and brief adopted for the plant and services are mainly within the building and will not have any detrimental consequences, whether aesthetically or acoustically, to the building occupants or neighbours.

Conclusion:

I am anally retentive. OK, I knew this already. However English is something I'm actually pretty good at, so wherever I can, I will use the correct terminology and grammar. I believe that to sound/look/be (depending on where you stand I suppose) more intelligent, the less words you use to get your point across the better. My boss has never heard of this, and clearly would not believe it, even if he had (note previous comment on stubbornness). You should also be able to get your point across to anyone reading the article, because engineers are not going to be the only ones viewing the report.

I get a certain satisfaction from correcting his abysmal English and making it more articulate and intelligent sounding. I also know that I'm the only one who benefits from this, so it is a completely self-rewarding process. All of my boss's clients are old engineers like him, where English is most definitely a second language. That's not saying they're of foreign descent, a lot of them are Australian to the bone, it's simply an engineer thing.

I get paid an amazing amount of money for sitting around most of the day answering the occasional phone call and typing the odd report or letter. Everything else that was a complete shambles when I first started here has been sorted out and now looks after itself. They all love me here because I'm amazingly efficient (although compared to the last girl I could come in roaringly drunk 7 hours out of 8 and still manage that). So I think I'll hang around a little bit longer.

To make you feel.

2008-11-21T14:06:00.002+11:00

Well, I went looking for sad music today and I found I don't own 2 songs that I love which always make me cry. I could be sad because Velvet named a number of his pet hates last night and I am sick so anything is guaranteed to make me feel worse. It could also be that he never gets vocal, so to choose my faults as the focus of his "vocal moment", well, one has to wonder.

Anyway, check these songs out, they're old, they're probably a bit daggy, but they have me in tears every time!

And one that makes me smile.

Gotta love YouTube for it's amazing collection of memories.

What is going on with the world?!

2008-11-21T12:55:00.003+11:00

Well, in the spirit if not having any time at all, I managed today to read the newspaper. The Herald Sun, dated Tuesday 13th November. That's right, I got to read 3 pages before Brandy (the puppy) and the Princess (5 months old and vocal) required lunch, NOW! Well, I'm sick and I don't care what they want. But back to the paper.

Zac Efron is the on the front page, who is he and why is he allowed out of school? He looks about 12, where are his parents for crying out loud? What is High School Musical and why isn't it in a high school? Why is it national news anyway?? Meh, the world has gone to shit since I started ignoring it. Union bosses calling transvestite prostitutes while overseas on "junkets", at least they aren't breaking peoples legs, or is that the mob who do that? An accused rapist, who happens to be a footy player (go figure) gets his name suppressed. Fair enough, innocent until proven guilty my friends, not just that but the article stated the alleged assault happened during a partner swapping incident. Well, in my view, partner swapping only happens for sex (or is that my wishful thinking?) so what's her problem??!!

My faith in human nature is confirmed, most people really are idiots!

Well, this weekend I am meeting one of my egg recipients who is flying down from Canberra. She's lovely and has also found an egg donor who can donate sooner than I can, I got an e-mail from her where she was trying to tell me about it but also tell me she wasn't rejecting me but would I mind etc and so on. God I laughed, I'm donating eggs, if things don't work out with this other woman then she can always come back to me, after all, I had told her to keep advertising just in case this happened. How wonderful for her that she gets her eggs sooner, this means she could could be pregnant at the same time as my first recipients, instead of having to wait a month or so until I can donate to her.

Lunch on Sunday, a civilized affair, wine, home cooked food, good friends and loads of laughter, I really can't wait!!!!!!!!!

Have a good one!!

What I'll be doing on the weekend

2008-11-21T10:28:00.003+11:00

This weekend I will be attending an official LAN party. For all of you out there not in the know (most of you I'm sure - good for you!), this means a lot of geeks and gamers head out of doors (an annual occasion, kind of like family Christmas) and go to a massive hall where they plug their computers (you didn't think they'd leave them at home did you?) back in and link up to hundreds of other geeks and gamers and play games, eat junk food, show off your bangin' PC set up and copy all the movies, music, porn, tv series and games you could possibly want. Oh and it runs from 10am on Saturday until 2pm on Sunday and most people there will stay awake that entire time.

Of course, they say in the rules that no illegal activity (ie: copying of illegally downloaded stuff) is to take place, however as this is exactly what the purpose of a LAN is, they're not actually going to enforce it. Kind of like going to a rave where they say 'no illegal drugs are to be comsumed' knowing full well that everyone there will be bouncing off the walls all night.

So I'm sure you're wondering why the heck I'm even going. I'm not your typical gamer/geek. OK, I wear glasses, but they're sexy glasses. OK, I play computer games, but only one really, and only when there's nothing to blog about these days. I'm not overweight and of the un-healthily pale complexion with the bad acne that goes hand in hand with those who never see the sun and stay up stupidly late staring at a computer screen and consuming copious amounts of sugar, fat and energy drinks. So why?

I'm blaming Mr Aesop. Because he asked nicely. Damn him for being so handsome and geeky all at once! I'm in love with a nerd *sigh* and there's nothing to be done about it. Although, he did say that I had to come, just this once, to say I'd been and to see whether or not I like it. And once I've been, I can refuse from hereon in.

My point to all of this? Really, I don't have one. I'm very trepidatious about exactly how it's all going to pan out and I just wanted to share. One of my friends, upon me advising him of my weekend plans, told me he couldn't laugh loud enough. I imagine this is going to be a common response, so feel free to join in the pointing and laughing.

What is wrong with the world of chain stores?

2008-11-18T08:11:00.002+11:00

K-mart must die. I'm pretty sure they spell their name as I have and it's wrong. This is not the only thing that's wrong with them but it's a mighty auspicious start wouldn't you say? I purchased a night light/mobile/music thingy for the babys' room the other day and went to assemble it to find the instructions missing, half the screws bent and scratches all over it. For just a shade over $70 plus 200 million dollars in batteries I'm rightly pissed off about this. I'll be returning said shitty item today and will see how I go with my plan. I will be (politely) requesting a full refund on all items, including the batteries which have been opened as well as a hefty discount on other items I may decide to buy at the time.

You see, having lost a load of weight is all well and good but I now have nothing to wear, breastfeeding means I cannot get away with cute dresses, there is not a single skirt and top combination I can see myself wearing and in fact, I figure, I just need some decent tops, the current fashion is basically maternity wear so I'm stuffed. There isn't anything out there for a middle aged woman to show off a hot new bod.

My other problem is I hate K-mart clothing but as I walk everywhere and my small suburb doesn't have a whole heap of competition, the other stores charge a fortune. Op shopping is a safe bet in most places, but I live in white trash city and if I wanted a t-shirt that screamed BITCH or similar, I'd buy it new.

Anyone know of another way???????? HELP!

I've had it, up to HERE!!

2008-11-13T18:25:00.003+11:00

Well, my employer is, in the timeless phrasing of someone I know, vaguely, over the internet, or a bunch of people, I can't remember exactly.

Let me start again, my employer is a cunt cunt.

That's right, I said "that" word, not once, but twice, and I used it in a derogatory manner. Sue me.

I am on maternity leave right? Right. Well, while I was pregnant I got the treatment guaranteed to push anyone who is a little protective of their unborn child, out of the workplace, on stress leave, at their suggestion and my Doctors' urging.

That claim was rejected so I'm fighting it.

While on mat leave they made me redundant.

And tried to tell me I have no choice, they told me so in writing.

This is where I love the union.

Now see, I am not a big fan of rough and tumble let's scam all we can under the guise of "it's union and therefore right because we can screw the employer" but I am a fan of my union, they seem to be really good, as they said (in my words), "these are your rights under law, you've been badly treated, we can prove that, let's make sure you aren't totally screwed."

I like that way of thinking. I'm not looking to scam anyone, I'm not looking for than my job or a decent enough sum of money to make me happy to lose my job.

Fair enough right?

Wish me luck. It's tough going.

Hmmm, title eh? This could be fun...

2008-11-11T21:18:00.002+11:00

The wonderful Witchie has generously offered me a possie on her blog about "work, kids, food and drink, life in general". I can tick all of those boxes except the kids one, which is fine as I can safely say that Witchie's kids are the most beautiful children I know under the age of 4, and that gets me out of all the trouble I can possibly (and probably will) get into otherwise.

Unfortunately, I am currently waiting for Mr Aesop to come home so we can eat gazpacho soup*, because it's so lovely & warm today (as opposed to the bloody hot of Summer), so I really can't think of much to say right now - my hunger is taking over my brain.

With any luck, something will come to me tomorrow, when I'm bored out of my brain at work...

*Cold tomato soup (preferably home made - it tastes MUCH nicer) with as much or little finely diced cucumber, red onion, olives and boiled egg as you wish. Yum!

Electrical contractors

2008-11-11T08:57:00.002+11:00

I've decided that in trad school, one thing taught to all those promising young men and women is how to fuck with people. So far in 12 months or more I have spoken with over 10 sparkies, all have come over, all have looked at the job adn said "oh yeah, we can do that" all have then gone away and we have never heard from them again. They could be dead for all I know, maybe this house kills sparkies. Having said that, in the last week, I have gotten 2 quotes, amazing! So, one is for $7,500 plus truck call outs on top. The other is for $5,500 including truck call outs.

Hmmmmm...... It's electrical work, it needs to be singed off by every man and his dog so it has to be done properly or they have to fix it. Plus the wholesaler is involved because we are upgrading from the street. Hate to be price driven but I'm going to take the cheaper one!

What do you think?

Fences

2008-11-10T13:51:00.002+11:00

Bastard fencing contractors!

Ooooh looky, another post for the month!

I mean bastard fencing contractors! They did the side fence, which was not cheap, 74 meters of fence with red gum posts etc and so on, not a cheap exercise when you haven't, well maybe you have but no one knows for sure, a job. So, we had to also get the front fences done as we got a puppy and we have kids and cats and fish and apparently no one knows not to play on the (major) road we live on. So to make this a little cheaper, 12 meters vs. 50 kind of cheaper, we decided on a fence on either side of the house butting up to the house directly. Guy says yep, you do good lunches and the after work beer is pretty good too, here's a good price and we'll do it next week. I say awesome, thanks guys!

Price has almost doubled; the job has been dragged out an extra 2 weeks and most of this is because the fencer got a little scared of the gas line and the fact that no one knew where it lived. Dial before you dig hadn't a clue, the council hadn't a clue, the gas retailer had to charge us so they could pay the wholesaler to pay someone to come out with the plans and the little finder thingy to find it so we told them to get stuffed and called a guy we know with his own little finder thingy. But Joe has a life, and he came out a week later. But eventually the gas line was found. YAY! Fence sorted, so come out and do the work boys.

Ahh they said, yes, here we are but we just realised, what about the concrete house footings Witchy? We can't put the gates where you want them because we may hit the footings which would be bad.

ARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I'm paying a fortune for a couple of fences that won't even be what I want.

Next week I may tell you all about my electrical contractor issues. They're more fun because we are still at quote stage. Tell me, why would there be a difference of over 3k for the same job between contractors who all want the work?

Apparently I'm a slack tart

2008-11-08T10:14:00.003+11:00

Well, I would eat a tart should I have the opportunity but life has changed somewhat. I am now the proud mother of an 8 week old puppy, let me tell you, labour was so much easier this time. We went to a house, paid a lady some money and picked up a puppy. She is just lovely, Golden Retriever x Labrador x Kelpie. Here is a photo of little Brandy -

So, 2 teenage cats, a puppy, a 4 month old baby and a 3.5 year child is keeping me pretty damned busy! *sigh* Minnie is helping me post this now, she is the younger cat and just like her sister, their assistance consists of lying all over the keyboard and typing random consonants for me to use later. Handy.

The egg donation thing is going really well at the moment, we had counseling, this was interesting because they ask questions like, do you relly want to do this? Well, no, I'm here because someone made me. How long have you wanted to do this? Umm, you know, decided on the way in here. How do you cope with stress? Why, are you planning on making me sad? Seems like it's a way to milk more money out of people wanting to have babies to me. We have to have 2 counseling sessions each then a group one and they throw unexpected bills at you too. I got one for a cystic fibrosis test, over $200, which my recipient pays of course but no one knew that bill was coming either! Bloody ridiculous! No one in my family has ever had cystic fibrosis so why test for it?

Will post more later, I'm not feeling very amusing right now, which is sad because everything is entertaining if you look at it right.

Facebook

2008-09-16T10:06:00.001+10:00

What can I say?? I'm a fan.

eBay

2008-09-01T20:27:00.002+10:00

I love eBay but it drives me crazy! You see, I started selling stuff the other day, mostly not my own stuff but that's beside the point. Check out item number 120299021765 and move on from there if you want to see my ads. I can't get the hang of it!! I went to add information and then doubled up the whole ad on 2 items, asked for help and got smart arse comments like one I allowed to go public saying I have too much time on my hands.

The eBay community is not loving me, a leather lounge that retails at about $2,600 is currently sitting on $5.50, and it took 2 bids to get it that high!! Now, I'm one of those people who puts in their highest bid when I see the item I want, I don't wait until the end, I know I'll lose to someone who put in a decent bid 4 days beforehand. Why doesn't everyone else do what I do??

Are they smarter than me? Can you really get some great bargains by waiting and taking the risk? Who has that kind of time?? When auctions end I generally have kids to put to bed, a life to live, dinner to cook, something is happening to prevent me from getting to my computer!

I posted my auctions at midnight and later simply to be able to get them up there, and because it was so late, I let some spelling mistakes go through! Man I was pissed off!

I feel deprived. And sad. I don't get as much computer time as other people do I want to know why!!!!

Donating Eggs

2008-08-20T11:31:00.004+10:00

I'm doing it! I am going to donate my eggs, I make'em and have no intention of having any more kids so why not share the love?? I asked David his thoughts and he is supportive but I made sure he understands that someone could knock on the door in 18 years and tell us they are my child, which they aren't so I get to smack their arse and send them home! WOOHOO!

The end aim is obviously to help someone have a child, someone who should be a parent but can't be. After all, there are people out there breeding who shouldn't be.

Gosh, wish me luck, apparently the injections are shithouse, but that's getting a little ahead of myself, after all, I still have to find a recipient and pass the genetic testing etc that they do to make sure you aren't a total freak!

Baby shows

2008-08-20T11:21:00.003+10:00

They're a load of shit aren't they? Yesterday I was wondering what to do with the kids while I was reading the paper and came across an ad for a baby show. Now I don't agree with them however David had mentioned entering Gareth but as it was Tuesday and the boys show was the day before I decided to enter Lia, just for shits and giggles you understand. Put her in a clean gro-suit, got the kids in the car and got there on time, after all, I had only decided an hour before judging started to go and therefore, time was short.

Kid cleaned up! For serious!! 9 weeks old, not performing at all, just being a normal baby, not dressed in "show gear" and she won ribbons for Champion Child, Champion Baby and Bonny Baby and a trophy for Cutest Baby.

PLUS I was told off by the judges for not entering Gareth the day before!! Well.

I am pretty happy with my 2 gorgeous kids, let's face it, I don't have a lot of patience for crap, so my kids don't give it to me because it makes life ugly for everyone.

I am so lucky and so happy, it's amazing how good life can be!

Shopping tours

2008-08-17T10:02:00.002+10:00

Jesus H Christ I say! 48 people (men and women, imagine that!) 1 bus, a hostess, a driver and unlimited shopping!

The outlets that are open to the tours and hide from the public at large are worth going to, I bought some kitchen stuff (massive casserole dish, huge roasting tin and some tiny tongs) really cheaply, this made me very happy! Handbags, shoes, clothes are all at RRP from what I saw. Now really, if these are overruns, factory seconds etc, why don't they make them cheaper to make me want to buy them!! Truly, I bought the kids some singlets because they needed them, I bought a handbag for myself, because I needed it, I did not buy a single extraneous product, not even a pair of shoes!!!!!! Now, if you know me you know that I will buy shoes no matter what, even shoes I've no intention of ever wearing, if the price is right and I love the shoe I will buy it!! There is no describing my disappointment.

The end of the tour we literally had a full bus and as this was a fundraiser for the child care centre it was lovely to see that our combined spend of over $11,000 gave the child care centre just under $1,000. Oh hang on, what tiny percent is that? Still, it was fun, I have to say as a virgin prior to this one I hope I'm invited again as I had such a lovely time!!

The Olympics

2008-08-15T11:16:00.002+10:00

Are we so arrogant as a nation that it's all about the medals? How many? Not all gold? What's wrong with you? It's amazing that in a nation as sport focused as we appear to be that we don't celebrate the athletes who simply get to the Olympics, they have some amazing competition right here!! I could not believe the interview I saw where the swimmer lost to the French guy, "I didn't put it all into the race on the day so now I'm focused on the 50m".

Whatever. Silver not good enough for you buddy? There were other competitors who would have loved the silver, pass it on if you don't like it.

And Stephanie Rice did not win the relay on her own, people do realise there were another 3 girls in that race with her don't they?

R.I.P. Troy Critchley

2008-08-15T11:10:00.002+10:00

I know he isn't dead but with this over his head, his career is. I don't know the mans history, I don't know what sort of person he is, I don't care that he's an Australian racing in the US. I do care that he has been forced to take responsibility for deaths that happened as a result of his car crash. The spectators, the organisers, and the parents of the children who died need to take a good hard look at themselves.

My 5th birthday present was meeting the winner of a sprint car race so I know something about being a spectator at a race (we were dedicated and both my parents raced), keep your kids far enough back so that if a crash does happen it would be a fluke for them to be affected. Organisers in Australia back in the day didn't have much of a clue but our tracks back then were safer than the so called track Troy was racing on when the crash occurred.

Yanks. Bastards. Everyone's fault but their own.

Village bloody Cinemas!

2008-08-14T11:32:00.005+10:00

Oh yeah, bastards!

Was given a $50 gift card in Feb last year, which is supposed to have a 12 month life span but who knew?? By the time I checked it was, what, 16 months later? MEH!

Called Village and they told me it was out of date (I finally got some baby sitting so this Sunday I am going to the movies, come hell or high water!). I asked how to get an extension and it eventuates that you need to apply in writing with a "good reason". Okayyyy, seems a little like school to me but there you go.

E-mail duly sent off and the following day I chase it up by phone. Their call centre is shit I tell you now! 1st guy, "so, what's your problem?" I explain it all a second time, he hangs up. Right. 2nd guy, he actually made an effort, but the person who was telling him what to say wouldn't speak with me, in essence, it takes 48 hours for them to see the e-mail and 5 days to respond. This is shit when you have kids and a baby sitter and only a small window of opportunity!

You know what? I called up a completely unrelated area and told the lovely man on the phone all my issues and he promised to sort them. Which he couldn't do. Apparently the "customer service" area is a law unto themselves and they seem to love the power, they will not fast track, and then when they finally did (for no apparent reason 5 hours later) they love to say no.

I don't give a shit, the lovely man gave me 2 gold class tickets for the session I wanted and threw in a car parking pass as well as long as I don't tell anyone. Which, really, I haven't since no one reads my blog anyway.

In addition to that I also gave the customer service area a serve and blew off some steam.

Moral of the story: Do not let your gift cards go out of date, if you do, don't bother asking them for an extension, Village clearly loves their money for nothing.

UPDATE: Village have now given me another ticket for gold class. I am now booked into to 2 gold class cinemas for the same night, almost the same time, definitely the same movie.

SHIT! Good shit though..

UPDATE: The nice guy called me today and changed my tickets from the 2nd location to the first. Now I have 3 tickets to the same gold class cinema and am paying for a 4th. Phew! That makes it easy. Teaches me a minor lesson in sorting out issues where I see them, maybe I shouldn't go so overboard?

Butter chicken

2008-07-27T19:42:00.004+10:00

Huh, me at my lazy, cheapskate best!!

1 tsp each ginger (I used it from a jar), turmeric, chili, salt and cinnamon
1 TBS Tomato paste (I buy the one in the squeezy bottle because I use little bits often and find it keeps the best)
1/2 tsp garam marsala
1 clove garlic, finely chopped, or crushed or something.
1 diced onion
2 chicken breast fillets (because the equivalent amount of thighs looked shitty at Coles today, had to go the expensive option sadly.)
3/4 tub of plain Jalna yoghurt (or use thickened cream, or use whatever, just make sure it's white ok??)
big spoonful of butter if you want to, I did, it was gooooood... hehe

Fry off onion and garlic, add roughly cubed chicken and all spices plus tom paste.

Add yoghurt and stir.

I also added a handful green beans and a red capsicum because I have a son who needs veg. Mind you, while I was boiling the basmati rice with some cardamom seeds, at the end I added some sultanas and then dyed his rice portion blue.

He had yellowy orange sauce with red and green bits through it plus blue rice, it was a rainbow for dinner!

So, dinner for under $10, again! And the chicken was half that on its own!

More news from the bosom lady, I can breastfeed while shopping in Target, wandering around the shopping center in general and now I have done the ridiculous, breastfeeding while getting a root canal. Yes, the dentist was amused, and she doesn't even like kids!

Wow, I have been slack....

2008-07-26T09:43:00.005+10:00

But it isn't my fault. Between chasing up work about, you know, paying me! Organising a solicitor for another work issue, chasing a 3 year old, losing myself in the presence of a 5 week old, running a household, dealing with guests and whatnot, life has been busy.

In the spirit of my new tightarseness (new word, I made it up just now.) I have decided to share with you recipes to feed a family of 4 for under $10, will add them as I create them because it all comes from my tiny little mind. None of these recipes require exact amounts or even the actual ingredients listed in most cases, and you have to love that right?? Mind you, any awesome changes need to be shared, don't be selfish!

Cheaparse Chicken Kiev (cholesterol reduced)

4 chicken thigh fillets
14ograms Ricotta
handful parsley
half a handful mint
clove of garlic per person
4 slices pancetta

I used my mortar and pestle to mash the garlic and herbs, chopping will do just as well though.
Mix it in the ricotta with a little salt and pepper.
Stuff the chicken, roll up, wrap with pancetta and secure with toothpicks.

Roast for 30 mins.

Serve with:

2 cups couscous, sundried toms and a green veg (I used broccoli florets).

To make, pour 2 cups cold chicken stock in a saucepan, add your broccoli, bring to the boil, throw in couscous and sundried toms, take off heat immediately and put the lid on the pan.

Serve chicken, mix couscous and serve that too.

Oh, and I am now at the weight I was at when I was about 20. That's right, under 70kgs for a change, in order stay there, all recipes will be low fat without making an issue of it (because we don't want to make a meal of it do we now?? hehe) as well as low cholesterol if at all possible. Add cheap and lazy to that and well, makes life easy huh??

Oooh, curry!

Next time. This curry is cheap, kids love it and you can use almost any meat in it.... It's comin'!

xx

More easy food!! Yay FOOD!

2008-06-27T20:23:00.003+10:00

I did Balsamic chicken last night. And I was lazy.

Peeled garlic, thickly sliced onion and potato and halved tomatoes in the roasting pan, topped with halved chicken breast (makes it look like there's more you know...).

Poured olive oil and balsamic vinegar over it, sprinkled salt pepper and a little sugar over the chicken and tomato bits. Roasted the lot for an hour, checked after 30 minutes and left it.

Dinner. And it didn't kill us.

Shouldn't kill you either

Pizza!!!!

2008-06-24T15:57:00.002+10:00

What day is it?? Is it Saturday yet?? I love Saturdays, you want to know why?? Velvet and Angel make pizza, wholemeal flat bread topped with tomato and oregano, for them it's an Aussie with pineapple and for me it's fresh tomato, goats cheese, parmesan, mozzarella and fresh basil.

Dear GOD! I need pizza now, seriously, what day is it??

Wow! What a ride!!

2008-06-21T09:55:00.006+10:00

Liathano is HERE!! (Or Lia to her friends.)

Well, it's been amazing, we were out of hospital within 12 hours, thankfully because, well, the food is crap there! The Chicken Cacciatore was almost grey. Ewwwwww.

Labour finally started at 11:05pm Sunday the 15th June, and we delayed going in, so many false alarms and I was sick of going into the hospital only to be told to go home again, plus I'd only been in there the night before to be told I was 3cm dilated and nowhere near ready. Huh! Like they'd know!!!!

Called Aunty K at about 11:45 and she had left her phone at home while going out to get smokes, she'd been so good about keeping it on her until then too. Called the kids godfather and almost cried and in the end everyone showed up at once! Love an audience during the most painful episode of my life!! Got to the car and instructed Velvet to make it faster, then demanded he not stop because it hurt, when he told me he could make it faster or smooth, I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought of his refusal to accede to my demands. I was being reasonable so why couldn't he??????

Hospital at 12:30am 16th June, demanding drugs. So the midwife tells me "We have to assess you darl, I'm sorry, no drugs until then" ARE YOU JOKING ME??????????? Midwives are not Dr's, I get that but do NOT tell me you cannot give me drugs when I HURT!!!!!!!!!!! Really.

So then it began, they finally got the gas happening to which I yelled "turn it up!!!!!!!!", apparently it was, so I told them it wasn't working and was crap, then it kicked in and I didn't like that either, then it started to wear off and I loved that part, even told Velvet it was good shit. Yeah.....

Then another contraction hit.

End of the world.

Poor Velvet, a very pissed off me demanding the gas, then hating it and throwing it away and demanding an epidural. Poor poor Velvet, he'd been instructed that I did not want an epidural, at all, I really didn't but his gentle, "are you sure you want to do this honey?" was met with unprintable language finished with the plea, I'm scared of pain, I'm not brave, I can't do this, it HURTS!!!!!!!!! Meanwhile he is still chasing the gas mouthpiece around the hospital room because I kept using it and throwing it away when I was done.

You have to laugh (after the fact) though, they were trying to put in the epidural, you know, the needle in the spine part? Where you have to stay still? Your partner helps hold you up so they don't miss and kill you or something. Velvet turned green. Even I was telling him to sit down and relax for a minute. Lucky he recovered quickly, his daughter was born about a minute and a half later and I was demanding McDonalds immediately! I was very hungry, after all, I had just gotten my stomach space back and it was empty!!

That's right, no drugs for the birth!!!!

Ugh, I do NOT recommend a natural birth, my labour was just under 2.5 hours from go to whoa and it was hell. To be all religious about it, God made drugs and it is a sin not to use them for their purpose. Finis!

The only scary part was the cord being wrapped around her neck, they thought it would slip off but then they realised it was too short and had to be cut. Here I am, half a baby hanging out and being told not to push. You're shitting me right? Then I looked and thought she wasn't breathing, and freaked out a little. Just a little, I swear it!!

Now though, I have an amazing daughter who is just like her brother was, no complaints, no excessive crying (in fact, pretty much no crying unless I'm at fault for not realising her nappy needs changing or she needs feeding). She sleeps, she poos, she smiles, she stays awake during the day and sleeps at night, and best of all? She has "almost" stopped looking like an alien! Her brother is devoted, her father is besotted, her mother did not require any medical intervention of any kind and so is back to normal, if running marathons were my thing I bet I could!! Now she is almost a week old and I have my breath back, I'm still impressed, and in love. To be this lucky, well, who would have thought it possible?

Feel free to hate me, I would if I were you!

Oh dear GOD! STILL going!!

2008-06-11T10:37:00.002+10:00

Yep, that's right people, still up the duff.

On Monday night went to bookclub, this was hilarious fun for me because I had to get one of the girls to pick me up and take me over there, it was almost an hour drive to the Chefs' place but really, who was going to miss out on her cooking?? She did send an e-mail the day before bookclub expressing regret at my lack of expected attendance yada yada yada but again, she is a chef, HELLO!

Indian food was the call of the night, she did something Indian and amazing with the pav for dessert as well, I had wine and many helpings of food, I had to call the hospital as something started to happen. False alarm but I did sit on towels everywhere I went that night and thoroughly enjoyed dinner and catching up with the girls. A bookclub without books, you have to agree, it really is a clever idea, most of us are working Mums and read sporadically when we have time, the book part simply got too hard!

Yesterday a vegie friend came over for lunch so I made the mushrooms again, that makes spicy food 3 days in a row and this child simply seems to be settling down making herself even more comfortable in the increasingly warm environs of the womb. FFS!

I am trying acupuncture later today to see if we can get things moving that way. I can only hope.

Beef Strog was last nights dinner, I had forgotten until bookclub (when a heated debate regarding the best version of this dish ensued) how much I really enjoy it!

1 diced onion
500g el cheapo steak cut in strips
tiny tin tom paste
large tin mushrooms in butter sauce
cup of water
beef stock cube
small tub light sour cream

Fry off onion and beef, add the rest excluding the cream and cook until your fettucine is ready, add cream to strog and reheat gently.

This recipe is so forgiving, you can add more of anything, thin it down etc and so on to feed however many people you need to and it comes out looking rich and creamy every time!

Just a word of warning, never reheat the leftovers, the cream splits as soon as it even peeks at a microwave!! If planning on freezing or reheating it later, leave out the cream until just before serving, you can even put a dollop of cream on top of each plate and garnish with some finely chopped parsley.

But why would you bother? I mean really.

Still here.. Ugh

2008-06-09T10:29:00.003+10:00

Well, look at me, all very efficient and updating this blog the very next day. Makes me feel rather clever, except I can't manage housework, sleep, "normal" conversation or anything resembling something that makes any kind of sense.

This, I will have you know, is because I hate/cannot stand/despise being pregnant!! Any woman who says she loves being pregnant is on some kind of dangerous drug and should see a medical professional immediately.

Last night, got restless, did the dishes with Velvets help, cleaned the kitchen tiles with an acidic mix of cloudy ammonia, white vinegar (I've seen "cleaning vinegar in the supermarket at twice the price of normal vinegar, does anyone really fall for that shit??) and some lavender stuff. Tool of choice for cleaning the kitchen tiles? An old toothbrush. Sick and sad I know.

After getting that done I realised that life as we know it depends on the kitchen roller blind being thoroughly cleaned, by hand, without being removed from the window. I did the lower half and threatened all sorts of minor and major "incidents" until Velvet got on the step ladder and did the bits I couldn't reach. He's very patient with me, especially as that 60 minutes "natural birth" without screaming (yeah right!) had finished earlier and I was in a right snit about it.

While completing all of this the real issue finally raised its' ugly head. WE WERE OUT OF ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know. Shocking isn't it? Halfway through the night I had my head in the freezer pulling half formed ice cubes out of trays to eat.

Somewhere around deciding to do the dishes and dragging Velvet away from some crime show to help, I started getting contractions. WOOHOO!! Of course the last labour lasted 3 freakin' days but I was positive, if something is happening and this is my second then you would think it will go a little faster for me wouldn't you? Even though yesterday I did the exercise/spicy food/sex thing, can't believe it didn't work.

No, got to sleep at 4am, up again at 6:30, back in bed by 7 this morning, up again at 9 ish. Feel like death warmed over, am aware that I have a family but have not yet chosen to acknowledge them, they, wisely, are watching ABC Kids and keeping away. Time for another coffee and cigarette, then it's time to take the iPod back. Oh yeah, will talk about that another time, makes me stabby just thinking about it right now.

One good thing about being up the duff though, there was a large accident near my house last night so I, in all my wisdom, not to mention morbid curiousity, got up and went out to see. Water spewing everywhere, car in a weird position and all the fire engines, ambulances and police of a little boys wet dream. I was contracting quite well and wandered up to the firies and asked if were going to have electrical issues, after all, good possibility of being labour, would like to be able to call out should I need to. The guys just looked horrified (hehehehe), the water was hitting all the power lines and they were convinced we would lose power and water. We didn't, still, would love to know what happened, the end result was too weird looking.

Today is/was the day.

2008-06-08T18:00:00.003+10:00

Well, today was the day the baby was due, I say was because, typically, no baby arrived. The stork has abandoned me for those in need or some such bullshit. So far in order to bring the "happy event" about in a timely manner I have walked to the bookshop (large hill on the way back) thought my uterus was going to fall out, had chimichurri mushrooms, 2 bourbons and am planning on jumping the Velvet man later after Angel boy goes to bed.

They say exercise, spicy food and sex all help, I doubt it personally but then, I don't care either, I enjoyed the first two and the 3rd option is bound to be fun, yay me!!

Today was interesting anyway, have a girlfriend doing a photography course who had an assignment which was - (confusingly) pick a word out of a list and take a series of 4 photo's for a digital collage representing that word but aren't that word. Got that people? Took me a minute or two.

End result, Tash chose Birth and came over today to take photo's of myself and Angel boy in the extremely exposed backyard of my house, topless and with belly exposed. My neighbours can see straight into my backyard due to the lack of fencing, they're in units and can simply look out their lounge room windows to check on us anytime. Oh, and they're old, 80's sounds about right, oh, and go to church every Sunday. Actually, maybe I should go over and check they're all still alive....

Do you have any idea how insanely massive my knockers are right now???? Think of the 2 Mt Kilimanjaro's on one of the Monty Pythons, then a whole other planet sitting below that! Jesus, I was impressed, looking down it doesn't seem that much but a straight on view is terrifying!

Will post the collage when I receive it, Tash said I could and I told her to get extra credit for getting the pics done on the due date.

Last thing, Chimichurri recipe is awesome!

1 TBS fresh Oregano
1 TBS fresh Mint
handful parsley
2 garlic cloves
1 small red chilli
3 TBS white wine vinegar
3 TBS olive oil

Whizz, mash or finely chop all together until a paste ish type texture.

Brush 6 large flat mushrooms with the above and grill both sides, fry some Haloumi or Saganaki and serve mushrooms, topped with cooked cheese and rest of paste over the top. Add some lemon quarters to cut the oil.

Damn it's good.

xx

God I hope I get better at this!

2008-06-06T06:10:00.001+10:00

Well, not sure if starting my first blog at 9 months pregnant while fighting with my employer, changing child care centres (hard!), running my partner ragged with pre baby preparations (yes dear, a nursery would be nice considering the baby is due this SUNDAY!!!!!), whinging to my friends about pregnancy and life in general and watching a war being waged between an anonymous site and some people who used to have a website I used to enjoy is all happening around me. But there you go, who said I'll think before I speak??!!

This place is mine, if you visit it will be because you have been invited or you found it accidentally, either way, grab a seat, I plan on filling the rooms with "stuff", my (often twisted) views on the world and stories about my family and friends which may ensure I'm disowned repeatedly. Plus there will be recipes and the odd joke, maybe (my joke telling sucks!).

Thank-you to Velvet for coming up with the name, you are beautiful, patient and loving to this old woman without a waist. Let's hope I learn how to work this thing before it gets too big or I lose interest.

xx